Fluorescent For You
by anxious.ari
Summary: Do you ever feel like life is out to get you? Like you're the only one going through struggles, fighting a war all on your own in your head? That's how Masamune felt. After spending his whole life in his own isolated, colorless world, he comes face to face with his polar opposite. The bright and beautiful Ritsu Onodera, who lights up his world like a neon sign.
1. Chapter 1

Fluorescent For You

Chapter 1: An Encounter

"Life is such a drag", thought Masamune Saga as he was walking home from school

"Well at least mine is anyway. My parents suck, school sucks, everyone at school sucks…."

Masamune wasn't really a fan of anyone or anything. He was as blank as a canvas and never showed any emotion. You see his parents were never home because of their jobs and when they were home they would scream at each other for just about anything. They hardly ever acknowledged Masamune. He was kinda just there. He had no friends at school and couldn't care less about what he was learning. Despite that he was extremely popular with the girls. They loved him, his dark hair and honey eyes, his "I'm too cool for you an any of this" kind of stance he had. He actually dated a few of them. H dated them but was never actually interested in them. They were all the same, they were only with him for the sake of having a hot boyfriend. Masamune would dump them all, the girls never shared any of his interests, or even cared about them for that matter. They didn't love him, but that was what he wanted. He wanted someone who was truly interested, someone, anyone he could talk to who would talk to him back and truly mean it.

But there was no love

That's why Masamune was the way he was, cold, cruel, emotionless. The only thing he loved were his cat, Sorata, and books. Yes books. He loved all kinds of them, they were his escape from own colorless life.

"I wonder if there are any new releases today." Masamune thought to himself as he made his way to the book store. That's where he went almost every day after school. It was like his second home. The store was called Marimo Books and had only recently opened. The store was like a supercenter for books of all kinds and even had multiple floors. It took only a few minutes for him to get there, considering Masamune would find any excuse to not go home.

He stepped into the humongous store and took a deep breath. There were quite a few people but not too much to make him turn around and leave. He stood there for a moment trying to figure out where he was going to look first. Then he saw a promotional poster for a new set of short stories. They were written by a 17 year old prodigy known as Akihiko Usami. Masamune was a huge fan of his. He was amazed at how amazing at how someone his age could be such an amazing and successful writer. He decided that volume of short stories was what he wanted and headed for the second floor where they were located. He finally found the aisle where all of Usami's work was displayed.

"Damn it" masamune said as he realized there were no more volumes of the short stories he wanted. He stared looking at nearby shelves to see if anybody had misplaced one and in the midst of all his searching he tripped over something, or someone for that matter

"Ow what the hell!" He turned around to see a teenage boy sitting in the aisle. The boy was wearing the same uniform as Masamune, which made him even more annoyed. To think he had to deal with classmates even when he wasn't in school pissed him off.

Masamune spoke up to get the boys attention. "Ummm why are you sitting on the floor, you're kind of in the way" The young boy looked up at Masamune as if he haadn't noticed him tripping over him and yelling at him. He had big emerald eyes that almost didn't seem real, with light brown hair and a pretty face. Masamune looked at him waiting for an answer.

"Oh I'm sorry, are you talking to me? Said the boy which made Masamune visibly confused. "Yes I'm talking to you. There's no one else here. I tripped over your freakin legs, did you not feel that" said Masamune who was clearly perplexed.

The young boy just looked at him and finally stood up from where he was sitting. He brushed himself off and bowed in front of Masamune. "I'm very sorry senpai for tripping you and not realizing it, I was so into my book that I didn't even realize, please forgive me"

Masamune was thrown off and even felt uncomfortable at the younger boys apology. It was far too formal for a high school kid like him so he had to clear the air,

"You don't have to bow and beg for my forgiveness just be careful next time." The younger boy stood up straight looking confused at first but then smiled at his senpai. "and how did you know I was your senpai?"

"oh I saw the pin on your uniform. So you're a third year huh? I don't think I've ever seen you before though." Masamune suddenly felt awkward. He wasn't used to talking so casually with anybody else besides his own cat. He reached up to scratch the back of his neck feeling uncomfortable. Those green eyes of the other made Masamune feel like all his insecurities and secrets were laid out for all to see. He came back to focus when he heard the younger speak. "What did you say?"

" I asked if you were lost or something?" Masamune frowned and responded "why would you think I'm lost?"

"Because most people your age are usually in the manga section, but you're in the fantasy novel section. I was just surprised because I thought I was the only one who found this stuff interesting." Masamune sighed and responded

"You know you're not the only one who likes to read quality novels. Besides I was looking for a particular set of short stories but the store seems to have run out."

The younger looked up at him and brought up whatever book he was so enthralled in.

"Are you talking about this?" Masamune looked at what the boy was holding and noticed it was the book he was looking for, and probably the last one too. Masamune just stared at it not knowing what to say.

"Here you can have it if you want. I was just reading it to pass the time. Don't get me wrong I love Usami senpai's work, but I didn't bring any money with me so you can take it." He held it out to Masamune with an insistent look and finally after moments, Masamune took the book and said

"Are you sure? It's the last one." The younger just looked at Masamune and smiled a smile so genuine it made Masamune feel uneasy.

"Yes I'm sure. Plus I caused you quite a bit of trouble and you're my senpai, so it's the least I could do." And with that the boy grabbed his belongings and started walking away before turning around and saying

"Well I guess I'll see you around senpai." He smiled again and waved before disappearing down the escalators. Masamune was speechless for a moment and finally made his way to the cash register. After he made his purchase he stepped out of the store walking slowly in the direction of his house.

"What was that?" Masamune thought

"I've never talked to anyone from school let alone someone younger than me, and he even liked the same books as me."

He continued walking then gradually came to a stop. He could feel his heart beating rapidly and he could feel a tinge of a headache coming on.

" I had a full on conversation with him. It felt as if I was being pulled towards him, as if I had known him for a while. It just felt right talking to him." Thought Masamune as he stood there staring down at his feet. He finally came back to reality and started walking again trying to piece together what he just experienced.

"I did more talking than I usually do in a freakin month and I didn't even catch his name. How stupid is that?" He quietly laughed to himself not realizing his mind would be filled with thoughts of that mysterious boy for the rest of that night.

[Type text]


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: UGH!

" _Darling you're the only thing that's going on in my mind" ~_

"It's been how long since then, like 3 days I think" Masamune thought to himself while lying on the floor of his bedroom staring at the ceiling. It had been three days since he encountered this mysterious kohai of his, who he didn't even know his name. Three days, and Masamune is still thinking about him. For some odd reason he couldn't get the boy out of his head. He couldn't stop thinking about the boys innocent face, gentle figure, brilliant green eyes, and most of all, his all too genuine smile.

That was the part that made Masamune uneasy, afraid in a way. Masamune had been exposed to so many fake and deceiving relationships he didn't even know how to react to a seemingly normal person. He had extreme trust issues, so whenever that sweet smile flashed in his mind he would become on edge, not knowing the other's personality or intentions.

"pffft I'm thinking way too much into this. I met the kid once, didn't even learn his name, and now I'm thinking about him as if we've had this crazy ass connection or something. What the hell is wrong with me?"

Masamune scolded himself, laughing at the way he was feeling about all this. In reality, no matter how much he laughed and joked about it, he was genuinely feeling turmoil. He just didn't want to show it. Remember that's Masamune's signature theme, being as blank as a canvas.

"You know what, fuck it I'm goin to bed" he said towards Sorata as he stood up to turn off the light. He crawled under the covers and let his mind go crazy with all the things he was thinking of. You would think, with this much anxiety the kid is probably a freaking insomniac. But no, he slept soundly, enjoying the quiet darkness his room provided.

The next day Masamune rose ever so slowly, dreading every second of it, to go to school. After he was done getting ready he made his way downstairs and started putting on his shoes. The genkan was silent of any joy, any laughter, and any words. There was no one else there besides Masamune, no one to say good bye as he went to school. At this point though Masamune was already used to it, and if it were any other way he would probably think the world was coming to an end. The thought of his parents there in the morning to talk with him and wish him a good day at school was like asking The Kardashian's to stop, it was never going to fucking happen.

At school Masamune felt this sort of, on edge feeling, like everyone was looking at him. Secretly, subconsciously, masamune was hoping he would see his kouhai somewhere. Then he thought about how stupid of an idea that was in the first place because he was on the third floor and the all the younger kids were on the floors below him. He went into his classroom and sat in his seat, ready to get the day over with until he felt a tap on his shoulder

" ~Ohayo saga-kun"

Masamune looked up to see a familiar face. A pretty girl with shoulder length, burgundy hair, dark eyes, and was tall for her age. Ayena Koji, the proclaimed "weird bitch" of all the third year students. She was a bit odd, only liking to be by herself most of the time, with a very crude sense of humor, and blatant disregard for anyone around her. The weird thing was that the only person she ever talks to is Masamune, not even as really close friends or anything, just random little conversations. On top of that the girl would appear out of nowhere like a damn ghost. Masamune had often times before asked her why she talked to him of all people and she simply responded with a smile

"Because you're just as awful as I am"

Ever since then Masamune would just humor her and listen to whatever it was she wanted to talk about. Masamune did dislike pretty much everyone, but he wasn't about to tell her to get lost.

"What's up Koji-san?" Masamune flatly said to the girl. She smiled and sat down in the desk in front of him, sitting down so that she would be facing in his direction. She put her head in her hands and proceeded with her request

"Wanna help me out with something?"

"Like what?"

"My little brother is a first year and he needs two seniors to help him with his assignment"

"What for?"

"It's for his English class; he has to interview at least two seniors to learn their perspective on how it is to be in their last year of high school, about to go to college. I was wondering if you'd like to be our last little piece to our threesome" She said while clapping her hands together and smiling mischievously. Masamune just stared at her, wanting to flat out deny her, but then she spoke up again,

"Besides, my brother has a friend that also wants to use us as his seniors too, because he doesn't know anyone else."

"Why are you so eager to help these kids, Ayena? I thought you hated everyone, so I'm a little shocked at how determined you are to get me to help you?

"Didn't you hear me? I said it was for my brother. I might despise everyone else but not my sweet little brother"

Masamune detected a hint of sarcasm in that statement. He didn't really want to help Ayena with this little project and sure as hell didn't feel like reminiscing about his last year of high school to some kid who didn't even know him. However, Masamune knew that Ayena was persistent and wouldn't stop bugging him unless he complied with whatever it was she wanted. He wanted to just be left alone so he sighed and agreed to go with her.

"OOOOh yay! We'll go during lunch okay?" and with that she skipped over to her original seat and smiled over at Masamune. He could feel himself cringe a little at the thought of talking to some first years. "Why did I agree to do this crap? I don't even have anything nice to say about this school, or my classmates. The only thing I wanna do is get the hell out of here", Masamune ranted to himself in his mind, slouching in his seat. Soon his classes started and he went into auto pilot mode until his dreaded lunch period would begin.

As soon as the bell rang for lunch period, Masamune and Ayena made their way to the first year's floor in search for Ayena's brother and friend. Masamune didn't even know she had any siblings. With the way she acted towards everyone else he truly felt sorry for the kid. They walked aimlessly for a few minutes until he heard Ayena say in an all too enthusiastic tone,

"Brother over here! Your two amazing interviewees are ready to get the show on the road"

Masamune looked in her direction and saw a tall boy with dark brown, short, shaggy hair and a smile on his face. He realized that the siblings looked nothing alike at all, and stared to wonder if the two were even related, partly because the younger boy didn't walk off in fear like most people who encountered Ayena. Masamune then saw a much shorter figure a little behind the younger brother, and Masamune eyes widened with shock to see the familiar bright green eyes and light brown hair.

"Ahhhhhh~ Ri-chan I'm so happy to see you, my little nerd!" Ayena squealed as she pushed pass her brother and hugged the shorter boy tightly against her chest.

Masamune was shocked by two things. One was the fact that he has come face to face with this kid again, and the second was the sight of Ayena hugging and so happy to see someone. H was actually quite curious as to how such a sweet kid could know someone as crazy as Ayena.

"Saga-kun I would like you to meet my daaarling little brother, Takamatsu, and his adorable friend Ritsu Onodera."

The kouhai was finally revealed to be named Ritsu Onodera, first year, 15 years old. Ritsu looked at Masamune and smiled sweetly.

"So we meet again senpai. I didn't know you were friends with Ayena, how come didn't we meet before? Oh I'm sorry, I mean Saga-senpai." He said with a slight giggle at the end. His light brown hair had a golden hue to it when the sun shined on it and his eyes a beautiful shade of emerald. Masamune was speechless, breath taken away by the pure and innocent aura of the young boy. It was definitely something he wasn't used to. The young boy stood there, hands behind his back, with a delicate smile.

"Why did I have to bump into him again? Right when I thought I had gotten him out of mind too."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Talk to Me

Masamune could feel his face heating up. That little bit of laughter made him blush and he didn't even know why. He was mentally cursing himself, wondering why he was feeling like this. He simply looked at Ritsu until he finally responded,

"So your name is Onodera huh?" the younger smiled and said,

"yup that's my name, sorry I didn't introduce myself the last time we met. I can be kinda awkward sometimes, I'm not really used to talking to many people." He said slightly embarrassed.

Masamune relaxed a bit finding that he could relate to the boy. Masamune wasn't good at talking to others either so felt somewhat closer to the boy. Masamune couldn't figure it out, but Ritsu made him feel oddly at ease but also very uneasy at the same time. The feeling was frustrating him. For a moment it felt as if they were the only two there, Ritsu smiling up at his senpai, and Masamune staring back at him not knowing what to say. Until Ayena decided to chime in,

"Wait you guys know each other already!? I didn't even know Saga had any friends. Wow you're quite the secret social butterfly aren't you?"

Masamune felt irritation start to build up at how she seemed to be mocking him. It's not that he wasn't able to talk to people, he just chose not to because he's an angsty teenager. You know, the usual "I hate everyone" kinda stuff.

"I accidently tripped Saga-senpai while we were in Marimo Books the other day. I was sitting in the middle of the aisle reading a book and I didn't even realize anyone was there." Ritsu blushed at his blatantly honest confession. It was pretty embarrassing for a 15 year old.

"Well it's nice to meet you senpai. My sister is always talking about you, says you're real quiet and cool. Anyways we might as well get started on this assignment. I don't wanna keep you guys long since I know the seniors are real busy too."

The other three turned to Takamatsu who made the sudden response and it seemed they were all brought back to reality, remembering why they were all there in the first place. Ayena agreed and they all went to find somewhere to get the project finished. They all decided to sit in a small courtyard towards the back of the campus. They sat together and the two first years started getting their things situated. Masamune sat awkwardly next to Ayena, wishing he didn't have to do the stupid interview part of the assignment.

"Okay so I'll start with the first question. What is something you learned from your three years in high school?" The two seniors sat there thinking about their answers. It took a few seconds until Ayena Spoke up,

"Well I know one thing is certain. Who you are in high school doesn't mean shit. Worrying about having friends, and joining clubs, and creating all these great memories, none of that matters after this. It means absolutely nothing. Everyone in high school is fake, they don't care about you, they aren't your friends. As soon as you graduate they'll forget all about you. You only matter to them when they need you."

Masamune was completely thrown off at how dark of an answer came out of her mouth. He knew she was an outcast, but he never thought it was this bad. Masamune agreed with her statement, that wasn't the issue here, It was just that he always thought he was the only one who felt that way, the only one who was that lonely. He looked at Takamatsu and Ritsu and noticed they had very understanding, yet sad smiles on their faces. Masamune had no idea what Ayena had gone through or what had happened to her to make her feel that way, but the other two definitely did. The awkward silence was broken when a soft voice spoke up

"I'll always be your friend, Ayena. Even when you're in college and have all these adult responsibilities you could always call me whenever you feel sad or you want to talk about something you did that day. I'll always be there and so will your brother, of course. Here's two people who love you right here, what else do you need?" Ritsu said with a smile so gentle, you would think he was an angel. Ayena just sat there staring at Ritsu. Masamune could see her bottom lip trembling just slightly, and her eyes getting watery before she smiled and said,

"Thanks Ri-chan, but now that you said that you know I'm never gonna stop bugging you right?"

"That's fine"

They both let out a laugh and after a while Ritsu turned his attention to Masamune. Ristu gave Masamune a reassuring smile, obviously noticing how uncomfortable and nervous Masamune was getting. They all shifted their gaze back to the young girl when she suddenly stood up

"I'll be right back. I'm just gonna head to the bathroom real quick." They all watched her walk away then Takamatsu said, "I'm gonna go with her to make sure she's okay." He walked on after his sister, leaving the other two alone. Masamune could feel himself getting anxious, not liking being left alone to wait with the younger boy. Ritsu scooted closer to his senpai, holding a notebook and pencil

"Sorry about that. Ayena tends to be a little emotional sometimes, but it's not her fault."

With this Masamune had to fight the urge to ask Ritsu about Ayena, he didn't want to come off as nosy. After a few minutes internally fighting with himself he finally spoke up.

"So, how do you know Ayena anyways?"

Ritsu sat there with his head resting in the palm of his hand, thinking about where to start.

"Well I met both Ayena and Takamatsu when I was really young, probably around when I was 4 years old. Their parents were good friends with my parents and I would often see them at the different company and business parties that our parents were involved in. Their father owns a recording studio that is used for the recording of drama cd's and different anime, so they meet a lot of different famous people. Ayena would actually babysit me every now and then. That's how we became really close."

Masamune gave Ritsu a very shocked expression which made Ritsu burst out with laughter. Masamune watched as the boy tried to get his laughter under control, and he found himself fighting off the urge to smile but kept his stoic expression. Ritsu finally gathered himself back together and responded with,

"I know what you're thinking, why would my parents leave me alone with Ayena? Well despite her usual self, she's actually a very nice person once you get to know her, and that takes a while. She doesn't just open up to anyone within a couple of days. It takes her a while to warm up and trust people."

After that response Ritsu gave a very sad smile. This expression made Masamune even more curious as to why Ayena was the way she was. He felt slightly guilty for being so prodding about her past but couldn't help himself, so he went for it.

"What was up with Ayena a few minutes ago? I knew she wasn't very social, I mean I'm the same way, but she seemed extremely bitter, like someone hurt her in order for her to say that."

Masamune looked up at Ritsu after asking the question, expecting him to be angry at him for asking something so personal. He was surprised to see instead that Ritsu had a very understanding look in his eyes and the younger sighed asking, "You promise you won't tell anyone else?". Masamune nodded reassuring the younger boy that he promised to keep this information to himself only. Ritsu then continued with his story.

"Like I said, Ayena can be a very loving and kind person if you do enough to earn her trust. She's the way she is because she's so used to being hurt and lied to.

Masamune felt a tinge of pain in his heart, knowing exactly what it felt like to be hurt and lied to. He knew what she was feeling and it hurt.

"You see, Ayena and Takamatsu aren't actually related by blood. They're half siblings. Before Ayena's father and Takamatsu's mother were married and had Takamatsu, their father had relations with a woman he had met in college. The woman was angry at their father for getting her pregnant and even insisted on caring for Ayena on her own, saying that she wanted nothing to do with their father. He ended up never being able to meet Ayena when she was first born and for the next couple of years of her life, because her mother kept threatening him by saying she was going to tell everyone he knew that he had gotten a poor college girl pregnant and didn't want to help her with the baby. This was obviously a lie because their father wanted to help out from the beginning but couldn't because the mother insisted on doing it herself. This confused him at first because he couldn't understand her way of thinking until he finally figured out what she really wanted once he got a court order. Apparently the mother wanted to make it seem that he wanted nothing to do with Ayena so she could get more child support money out him. There was no way out of it, because no matter what the judge would take her side. He payed the bills but was still never allowed to see the Ayena. This all changed when one day, while in his studio, he was met with a very young girl with long, wild burgundy hair and a yellow dress. She had a backpack on with a note in her hand. In the note, Ayena's mother stated that she could no longer care for her and for the father to take control of it. Her father was outraged at how that woman could up and leave a little girl like that. He took her home with him and had to awkwardly tell his new wife about everything that had happened in the past. At first she was a little thrown off by it but developed a motherly instinct to Ayena. She felt she really needed to show the girl love. Since then Ayena has grown more comfortable in her family and loves her brother to death, but she still has this burning resentment for her mother, which causes her to be so distrusting towards others."

Masamune had to take in all the information he just learned, because it was quite a shock. He had no words to express the way he was feeling right now. The best way he could explain his emotion was, guilty? He started to feel horrible about himself. He woke up everyday complaining about his life, feeling as if he had it far worse than anyone else. Now he knew about Ayena's troubling past and honestly felt for the girl. Masamune felt lonely, but he couldn't imagine how Ayena felt on a daily basis.

"But I'm glad she was able to make another friend"

Masamune looked up to see the brunette smiling at him with a thankful look in his eyes.

"I know she can be weird and really rude sometimes, but that's just how she is. You get used to it at some point to where the insults actually seem pretty loving"

Ritsu let out a light laugh and Masamune made a mental note to be a little kinder to Ayena whenever she comes around. Not to pity her either, but because he could genuinely feel for her now. He sat there thinking about everything he just learned when he felt eyes on him. He looked to his side to see Ritsu staring at him, very attentively, he might add. Just when Masamune was about to confront Ritsu, the brunette spoke up,

"So, what about you senpai? How do you feel being in your last year of high school?"

Masamune sat there and pondered his response for a bit until he finally gave a sigh and said

"To be honest my response isn't that far from Ayena's. I don't really have any fond memories of this school and I don't talk to anybody…"

Ritsu analyzed his senpai with a gentle gaze.

"I can be your friend"

"What?"

"I mean we've already met each other, we know each other's names."

Masamune let out a sarcastic laugh. He didn't anything about this kid, despite the fact that he's a little too trusting. How could this kid want to be friends with him when they knew nothing about each other? They were like complete opposites.

"How can we be friends if we don't know anything about each other?"

Ritsu frowned a bit, confused by his senpai's question.

"What do you mean? That's how all friends start off. They don't know anything about each other in the beginning, but the more time they spend together the more they get bond and create a real friendship."

Masamune felt a bit nauseas by the brunette's response. He started to wonder how happy-go-lucky a person could possibly be. "Am I really that fucked up?" Masamune thought to himself.

"Well I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't really do friends and friendship."

Masamune felt a bit guilty after saying this because the look on Ritsu's face showed that he had just gotten his feelings hurt. Masamune didn't mean to come off as rude but that's how Masamune truly felt. He wasn't a social kid and didn't really know how to deal with a person like Ritsu, so he tried to alleviate some of the awkwardness.

"Well it's not like I can stop you from talking to me. I'm just letting you know, I'm not that great of a person, but by all means be my guest."

Ritsu's eyes lit up and he smiled, which honestly made Masamune feel a little bit happy. The two boys turned their attention to the two people walking towards them. Ayena and Takamatsu returned just as the bell rang, signaling the end of their lunch period.

"Thanks for your help Saga-san, I think I can handle the rest of the assignment. If I need any more help though, I'll definitely hit you up.", said Takamatsu giving the older boy an apologetic smile. Ritsu then stood up to return to class with his friend, but not before turning around to give Masamune a friendly goodbye.

"It was nice talking to you senpai. I'll see you around, okay?" The brunette then smiled and winked at his senpai, causing Masamune's eyes to widen. With that Ritsu started laughing, waving one last goodbye to both his senpai and Ayena. The two seniors stood there, Ayena waving happily back and Masamune glued to his spot with his mouth hanging open. He snapped out of it when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to his left to see Ayena smiling ever so mischievously, with her eyebrows raised.

"Sooooo, when did you and Ri-chan become such great friends?"

Masamune just turned around and started walking towards the school building with Ayena laughing and jogging to catch up with him. As he was walking, he couldn't help but smile a little bit. He thought about the brunette and his all too happy expressions. Masamune started feeling a tinge of something in his chest. He didn't know what it was, but it made him feel all warm inside.

"That kid is crazy" he said, shaking his head and smiling at the same time.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: When you need me

"Ah, it's nice to see you Saga-kun. How have you been?" Mr. Kuroi was one of the school counselors who were in charge of keeping track of the seniors. He called Masamune in to discuss his future plans (again), and to give Masamune a form for his parents to sign.

"I'm fine, so what did you need?"

"I called you in here to give you the "Plans after High School" sheet so you can fill it out and discuss it with your parents."

"I don't need one."

"What do you mean? Everyone has to fill one out. We're not here to judge you either Saga-kun. We just want an idea of what you're going to do after graduation. I'm sure your parents are interested in knowing as well, if you haven't told them yet."

Masamune wasn't trying to be a smart ass, or be defiant; he really just didn't see the point in filling out the paper. Masamune hadn't even thought about college yet. He had no idea what he wanted to do and sure as hell couldn't figure it out within the next few months. The second thing that kept gnawing at Masamune was the thought of getting his parents to sign the form. Not only did he think that they wouldn't care either way what he did with his life, since they haven't showed any interest so far, he knew it was going to be a pain in the ass to even catch his parents to sign the sheet because they were never home. All in all Masamune saw it as one big hassle and would rather just not do it.

"Go on, take it. Have it back to me by Monday."

Masamune took the paper and said his goodbye to Mr. Kuroi for the weekend. Masamune actually liked Mr. Kuroi. He was a laid back teacher who didn't really pry unless he really needed something done. Masamune left the staff room and made his way down the halls. He gazed out the windows at the orange-pink afternoon sky. The halls also had this warm orange color to them because of the late afternoon light. Masamune stopped for a second to lean against one of the window sills.

"I still have some time left…Maybe I could hang in there for a few minutes before heading home."

Masamune was referring to the library. That was another one of his favorite places to go instead of his own home. Nobody ever really went in there so Masamune had the quiet, peaceful room to himself most of the time, besides the librarian of course. Masamune arrived at the entrance of the library and made his way in. Of course, there wasn't anybody else in there. He breathed a sigh of relief and made his way to his usual table towards the back to put his stuff down. Now came his favorite part. Walking down the tall aisles of books in search of book he hadn't read yet. Masamune loved all types of books to be honest, but the one genre he always found himself going back to was Romance. It was mainly because relationships in books, whether it be a romantic relationship between lovers, parents, friends, they always turned out better than they did in real life. That's because the books are fictional is what Masamune would tell himself. After a while Masamune started to think how much better it would be to live in a fictional world where everything went right and everything was ok. Everyone thinks about that though, at some point in their life. Masmaune sat there staring at a page for a particularly long time until his attention snapped back when he heard the Librarian speaking to someone. He thought she might have been speaking to him but he noticed that she was speaking to someone off to her left, which was out of sight to Masamune. The librarian was really young, probably about 23 or 24. She was a pretty girl with long black hair and cutely styled bangs with clear glasses frames. She had a playful smile on her face with a cheerful voice. She was definitely the quirky type.

"Oi Onodera-kun, I'm so grateful for you helping me. Without you I would probably be swamped with all these new books."

Ritsu walked out of one of the side rooms connected to the library which acted as a storage room. Ritsu Volunteered in the library often, especially when it came to labeling and shelfing books that were new or donated. He loved doing it even if he wasn't being paid.

"Ah it's no problem Suzume-san, I love seeing all of the new books that come in." Ritsu said with a smile gathering his things.

"Thanks again. Good work today, get home safe." She said as she stepped out of the room, more than likely heading to the staff room. Ritsu was about to head home until he spotted a figure sitting towards the back of the room. He smiled when he saw the familiar face and approached Masamune.

"Hey what are you doin here?

Masamune looked up at the green-eyed first year with a blank expression

"Cooking up a French cuisine." Masamune said in a joking, sarcastic tone.

Ritsu let out a light chuckle, which surprised Masamune. Most people would've gotten mad at him for being so sarcastic, even though he was joking.

"That's not what I meant. I meant why are you here so late?"

"Oh I try to come here as much as possible and as long as possible."

Ritsu wore a half smile when he looked down at the book Masamune currently had in front of him. Leaning forward Ritsu playfully said "ooh Hazuki-sensei". Masamune quickly closed the book he was reading feeling embarrassed that Ritsu obviously knew who the other was, which meant he knew what kind of story it was. Ritsu was shocked at the sudden reaction and gave an apologetic look.

"Oh Saga-senpai I didn't mean it like that. I'm actually a big fan of Hazuki sensei's work."

Masamune looked up at Ritsu not knowing if the boy was being truthful or if he was just trying to make Masamune feel better.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I've actually read that book before. I really liked all of the characters. I also like one of her previous works, the one about the girl who falls in love with that trouble making boy that she meets in detention. I thought that story was really cute."

Masamune knew he was telling the truth, because he had just recently finished that book. He got up to gather his things and put the book back. Ritsu watched Masamune do all of this. Ritsu felt as if maybe he hurt Masamune's feelings somehow and felt he needed to fix it.

"Are you heading home? Maybe we could walk together."

"You can do whatever you want, but following me might be kinda boring."

"That's fine." Ritsu said with a smile, walking with his senpai. Masamune thought the boy was strange.  
Why was he always so damn cheerful? Whatever it's not like it affected him in any way, so he just let the kouhai walk alongside him. It was a weird feeling for the older boy. He'd never walked with anyone home before. He started to become extremely aware of the boy walking beside of him. He felt way too awkward not saying anything. He usually liked silence, but this was unbearable. He finally managed to croak out a question for his kohai.

"So do you work for the library or something? You seemed really close with the librarian."

"I volunteer to help her out when she gets new books to put on the shelves. Suzume san is really nice and funny, that's her name by the way." Ritsu said while looking down and smiling.

Masamune gave a slight laugh and looked straight ahead.

"It sounds like you have a crush on her or something."

Ritsu gave a very confused look and let out a loud laugh.

"Are you kidding? Not that Suzume-san isn't pretty or anything, but she's honestly like the older sister I never had but always wanted."

"You don't have any siblings?"

"No. I'm an only child"

"Aren't you lonely?" Masamune accidentally said aloud. He was thinking it but didn't intend on actually asking the younger boy the question.

"Sometimes but I have a lot of cousins so they kinda feel like siblings to me. What about you senpai? Do you have any siblings?

"No"

Ritsu looked over at his senpai, regretting asking him the question back because he didn't know if it was a touchy subject for him or not. Ritsu tried to quickly change the subject after that. That's when he remembered something he thought about earlier.

"You know that book you were reading earlier?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"You actually remind me of the main girl in the story." Ritsu said with a small smile on his face. Masamune laughed a little remembering as much about the girl in the story as he could.

"What are you trying to say? Isn't she kind of a shut in?" He said in a joking tone. Ritsu laughed, throwing his head back slightly.

"Yeah she is, but that's not necessarily a bad thing is it?"

"Well according to those late night shows, being a NEET is actually quite an epidemic."

The two boys let out a laugh. Masamune couldn't even remember the last time he had this kind of laid back, casual conversation with someone. Actually he never really had conversations with people. He tried to avoid them as much as possible. Ritsu was right, Masamune was a lot like the girl in the story. The two boys soon reached a street that split up into two paths, one going right and the other continuing straight. Masamune stopped at the turn and said, "Well this is my street. I guess I'll see you around." Masamune was about to make his departure from Ritsu but he stopped.

"Wait senpai." Masamune turned around and saw the boy reaching for something in his bag. Ritsu pulled out what looked like a cell phone.

"Can I have your number?"

"What for?"

"So I can call you or text you, duh. Plus if you ever need me you can always call me too."

Ritsu stood there with his arm outstretched, waiting for Masamune to grab the phone so he could input his number. Masamune hesitantly took the phone punching in his number.

"I don't really use my phone all that much, but hey knock yourself out." Masamune said after inputting his number. He lightly tossed the phone back to Ritsu, who thankfully caught it. Ritsu smiled and put the phone in his pocket.

"Thanks senpai. I'll see you later." He said with a wave and he continued walking straight. For a few seconds Masamune watched him walk off until he realized how weird that must look and decided to continue his walk home. He walked off, again in silence. The only sound was the slight rustling of the leaves in the trees that came with the soft afternoon breeze. A few minutes after, however, Masamune could feel his cell phone vibrating in his pocket. He took it out and flipped it open to see he had a new message that read:

" ~ _Get home safe, kay? ~"_

 _Onodera_

Masamune looked at the message and could feel his face start to heat up. He tried to shake off the feeling by putting his phone back in his pocket. The corner of his mouth started to curl up, showing the beginnings of a smile.

"What a funny kid."

Masamune walked home, basking in the feeling of actually, finally feeling like a normal teenager.

 **Author's Notes**

 **Hey guys, I know it took me a while to update the chapters. I'm sorry but college is really hard to get around and find free time for anything else.**

 **Also I wanted to apologize for the story being really angsty sometimes. I include those types of moments because I actually have depression and I remember while I was in high school I often felt like the Masamune feels in this story. Don't worry it won't always be like that I promise ;)**

 **Anyway thanks for reading 3**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Clouds

"I forget this and that

I forget about the shit that doesn't matter

My memory could be erased

And I'd still be thinking 'bout your face"

"Hey Sorata, I'm finally home"

Masamune said as he stood in the genkan, slipping off his shoes. He kneeled down to scoop up the little black and white kitten. He looked up after he noticed that there were more than one pair of shoes in the genkan and there were noises coming from the dining room.

"Oh God, they're here." Masamune thought to himself as he slowly walked to the dining room. He walked through the archway and saw his mother sitting at the table and his father in the kitchen sorting through papers. Masamune was pretty surprised they were even home, but even more surprised that both of them were there in one shot. It was truly a double whammy. His existence was so far gone from his parents that they didn't even realize he was standing there. Masamune finally spoke up, because he knew that was the only way he would be somewhat acknowledged.

"What are you guys doing here? More importantly, why are you BOTH here?"

His mother looked up and responded with,

"Oi Masamune, what did I tell you about that nasty cat?"

"Wow she didn't even say hello. She hasn't been home for 2 months and the first thing she does is bitch at me. Why does she care whether I have Sorata here anyways, not like she's ever here to even notice." Masamune thought, taking in a deep breath in hopes of keeping himself from squaring up on his own mother. Masamune then rummaged around in his school bag for that damn paper Mr. Kuroi was expecting from him on Monday. It was Friday, which meant he had the whole weekend to figure out what he was going to do with it, but since both of his parents were there right at that moment he decided to take advantage of it. Besides, God knows when both of his parents were going to be in the same place ever again. That shit was about as rare as Hayley's comet. He pulled out the paper and held it out to his mother.

"Here. I have to have you guys look over this paper and give it back to the counselor's by Monday."

"What is it?" said his mother without even looking up at him

"It's a paper about college. I have to get your permission and input on what college to go to."

"I don't have time for that. Ask your father."

Masamune looked over to his dad. Masamune didn't even have to say words to communicate with his father. They would just exchange looks sometimes and understand each other. That doesn't mean they were close though, in actuality they were anything but close. Masamune's dad looked at him for a few seconds then went back to gathering papers.

"I can't. I have things to do. I'm going to head out in a few minutes anyway." His father responded

"Besides, you're old enough to make your own decisions anyway. You can figure it out. Oh and here's some more money for the next month." Said his mother, passing him a small envelope with money in it. After that she just went back to writing whatever she was writing. Masamune turned back around and went upstairs to his room. His body and head ached with defeat. He was mentally exhausted. He didn't even know why he tried when he knew what the result was going to be. His parents couldn't give two shits about what he did, but for some reason Masamune had the tiniest bit of hope that they would be concerned about this, about his college career. He laid on his bed with Sorata right beside him, nuzzling against his side. He stared at his wall for what felt like hours until he noticed that Sorata had gotten up and started rolling around on his bed playing with a string. You know the usual cute cat stuff. He looked at the cat and smiled, reaching out to scratch behind one of her ears.

"Hey Sorata, how about we go downstairs and have you shit in moms shoes. Maybe then she finally be aware of our grand presence." Masamune said sarcastically to himself. He laid there petting Sorata until he felt his eyes grow heavy and he drifted off to sleep.

The sound of something vibrating on his nightstand is what woke Masamune up the next morning. He rolled over, eyes still heavy with sleep as he outstretched his hand trying to find whatever was making that noise. It was his cellphone vibrating every time he received a message. Masamune flipped the cell phone open and he had to squint his eyes because the light coming off the screen was so bright. It took few seconds for his eyes to adjust but then he could finally make out what the message said

" _Ohayo senpai, if you're not busy today then meet me at Murasaki Park okay? Let's meet at 12:00, don't keep me waiting ^v^"_

At first Masamune stared at the message not knowing what the hell was going on. He then started to remember yesterday's events, how he exchanged his number with Onodera. Masamune's first instinct was to ignore the message and not go, however it seemed the kouhai was already set on his plans and Masamune didn't want to flake out on him like that. He was an asshole but he still had a heart. Masamune looked at the time on his cellphone and nearly jumped out of his bed

"Oh shit! It's already 11:40. Why did he send me that message so late anyway?"

Masamune got out of bed and rushed to find some clean clothes to wear. He even had to watch out for Sorata and make sure not to crush the fuzzy little thing in the process. Masamune ran into the bathroom to take a piss and brush his teeth and he stopped to look in the mirror and a wave of embarrassment washed over him.

"Why the hell am I freaking out about this? It's not like I'm going out on a date with a girl or anything"

Masamune said out loud to himself. He looked at his reflection and realized that this was the first time he's ever decided to meet up with a friend. He had been invited out before by classmates, but he always turned them down. He would either make up some bullshit excuses or completely ignore them. He'd rather be at home watching movies that always seemed to have Hyde or Gakt in them. You really couldn't watch a movie without them. He wasn't particularly a huge fan of them but he grew used to seeing them all the time, he just grew attached to them. Anyway, this was the first time Masamune was going to hang out with a friend. He felt a little anxious now. "What do friends even do when they hang out"? Masamune asked himself. He wasn't even sure he could do this. Jesus, he was seriously socially inept. He finished getting ready and made his way out of his house.

"Damn I'm running late. The park is close to here, so maybe he won't be that mad at me."

Masamune hurried as much as he could, trying to be only a few minutes late. When he finally got to the park he was breathing heavily. "Holy shit I am really out of shape" he thought to himself. He continued walking through the park in search of the younger boy, until he spotted a very familiar head of light brown hair. Onodera was sitting on a bench looking up at the trees. It was a bit windy that day so the light from the sun would occasionally slip through the branches of leaves and made the park look like it was lit up. Masamune just stood there for a moment taking in the scenery until the younger noticed him and gave him a warm smile. Masamune walked up to him lifting his hand to say hello.

"Hey. Sorry I'm a few minutes late. I tried to get here as quickly as I could."

"Nah it's okay. It's kinda my fault for leaving the message so late. I'm not very good with time management."

Masamune relaxed a little bit after confirming that Onodera wasn't mad at him. Masamune studied the boy and realized how small he was. Onodera was already a good 3 or 4 inches shorter than Masamune but his clothes made him look even more fragile, delicate in a way. Onodera was wearing a blue ringer tee with white accents, slim fitting black jeans that were slightly cuffed at the ends, and a pair of black classic vans with white shoelaces. Masamune couldn't help but think about how…cute he looked. Masamune internally facepalmed and started wondering what was wrong with him. Masamune's clothes seem to contrast Onodera's clothes heavily, because it seemed that everything Onodera wore looked bright and new on him. Masamune was wearing a gray baseball tee with black sleeves, dark blue jeans, and black converse. The two of them sitting next to each other looked like they were trying to symbolize what a happy and sad person looked like. It was funny if you thought about how much of opposites these two could be.

"So, what's up?"

"Oh I have something for you."

"What?"

"Yeah, now close your eyes."

"Really?"

"Yes senpai, you have to have the full effect of receiving a surprise gift. Now come on close your eyes."

Masamune complied with his kouhai's silly demands and closed his eyes, waiting for whatever the boy could possibly have to give him. He sat there waiting and all he could hear was the other rustling through what he assumed was a bag. He was growing anxious waiting, until he felt something be placed in his lap.

"Kay now open them" Onodera said cheerfully

Masamune opened his eyes to see a book in his lap. He didn't know what the book was at first glance until he looked at the authors name at the bottom. It said Akihiko Usami. Masamune picked up the book and started analyzing it. He had never seen this book before in stores or seen it in magazines either. He would know too because he was such a big fan of Usami's work. He looked over at his Kouhai who was smiling and waiting for his senpai's reply.

"Do you like it?" Onodera said with his eyes all lit up

"What is this? I've never seen this story before?"

"That's because it hasn't been released to the public yet." The kouhai said in a playful voice

"How'd you get it then?"

"I have my connections"

The two sat there staring at each other for a few seconds until Ritsu busted out with a laugh.

"Don't worry senpai, I didn't steal it or anything."

Masamune looked back down at the book that he was holding. He wasn't sure what to say. He had never been given a gift like this, especially a gift that nobody else had. The thought of Ritsu going through the trouble of getting something so exclusive and something he truly liked confused him. What he said next wasn't supposed to be said out loud but Masamune didn't even realized he said it.

"But why?"

"Hm, why? Well because you're my friend and I thought you would like it."

Ritsu said with a sweet smile. Masamune didn't even know if the boy was even real. He had never met anyone like him before and that truly amazed Masamune. His attention was then brought back to reality when he felt his kouhai rise from his seat on the bench. Ritsu looked over to Masamune and smiled.

"Wanna go for a walk?"

Masamune raised an eyebrow. "A walk?"

"Yeah like around the park. Besides it feels really nice out today." Ritsu said while looking up to the sky, staring at the beautiful clouds above them.

"Fine, let's go then." Said Masamune. He wanted to decline at first, but he couldn't bring himself to say no the kouhai. Ritsu's eyes snapped open and he looked at his senpai with a look of pure excitement.

"Really? Okay let's go"

The two started walking along the trail of the park. Murasaki park was pretty big too, with lots of trees. They walked side by side and just walked in silence for the first couple of minutes, until Ritsu broke the silence and asked Masamune a question.

"So senpai have you decided what college you're gonna go to yet?"

"Ummmm, no not yet actually." Masamune felt embarrassed by his answer. Here he was, a senior, and he still didn't have his crap together.

"It's embarrassing, isn't it?" Masamune asked his kouhai, letting out a nervous laugh. Ritsu's brows furrowed a bit, as if he was confused.

"Why is that embarrassing? Senpai you're only 17, it's okay to not know. You have your whole life to figure that out."

"Thanks for the words of encouragement, but everyone else sees it differently. The counselors, my teachers, other classmates, they all think you have to get into a good ass college and have your career planned out by the time the school hands you your diploma. They expect all these different things out of me, expect me to know what I want to do with myself in the next five years, like shit I don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow. And my parents, they're a whole different story."

Masamune then looked over to his kouhai and realized he was staring at him, not saying anything. Masamune then felt that maybe he had said too much, throwing his issues like that at someone he hardly knew. Even so, he couldn't help but express all these thoughts when he was with Ritsu.

"Sorry, that was a bit much. I didn't mean to throw all that at you."

After that Ritsu's voice came out softly, sweetly.

"It's okay senpai. You can tell me anything that's on your mind."

The two boys continued walking, a soft breeze shaking the leaves around them. Then Ritsu spoke up again.

"More importantly, who cares? Who cares what they think? They aren't you, so what does it matter what they think? You'll probably never even see any of those people ever again, so I say fuck them."

Masamune almost stopped dead in his tracks. He didn't even think someone as sweet looking as Ritsu could say anything so stern. Ritsu looked over at Masamune with a soft smile.

"Fuck them and all of their opinions. Do whatever you want. Be happy, have fun, you'll figure it out at some point in your life. You shouldn't spend some of your best years worrying about what niche you're going to fit into. Just do you."

This time Masamune did stop in his tracks. Ritsu looked back to see why he had stopped. Then he realized that he could see Masamune's shoulders shaking, and was confused. Masamune lifted his head laughing out loud. Masamune lifted his head, looking up at the sky, and let out hysterical laughter. Ritsu looked at his senpai with wide eyes, not sure what was happening, then he could feel himself smiling and letting out bits of laughter as well.

"Why are you laughing?"

Masamune had to catch his breath before answering.

"Because I never thought someone as clean cut and proper as you would bust out with something so carefree. I swear, I thought I was talking to somebody else for a second. You're so straight up it just threw me off a bit, it surprised me."

Ritsu blushed a little bit. He was looking down rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get carried away. It' just how I honestly feel." Ritsu's gaze came back up to his senpai when he felt his hand rest on his head. Masamune ruffled the kouhai's hair with a small smile resting on his lips.

"Don't be sorry. I didn't say it was a bad thing. Actually, I really appreciate it. I'm starting to think you're the only honest person out there."

Ritsu smiled with a pale pink blush on his cheeks.

"I never thought you'd laugh. You have a contagious laugh, I couldn't help but laugh myself."

Masamune blushed and looked away quickly so that his kouhai wouldn't see. He internally scolded himself for blushing like a girl. The two continued walking, talking about this and that, exchanging light laughs and gentle smiles. During all this Ritsu looked at his senpai while he was smiling and blushed a little bit. Ritsu looked down and thought to himself,

"Senpai looks really beautiful when he smiles."

The sky had become a pretty shade of light purple, the clouds had a tint of pink in them, the sun was setting. After the boys walked the path around the park, they started talking about the book that Ritsu had given Masamune and the two boys ended up sitting at a bench looking at and talking about the book together, and they ended up doing that for hours. Time flies when you're having fun I guess.

After that the boys finally decided to head back to their homes. They walked part of the way together until the came to the point where they had to part ways. Before Ritsu said goodbye for the day, Masamune thanked him again for the book and then they said their goodbyes to each other. Ritsu turning around one last time to smile and wave at his senpai. Masamune waved back and continued down his street. As he was walking he couldn't help but feel a bit sad. He didn't want the day to end. He never though he'd say this but he actually had a lot of fun with his kouhai today. That was the first time he had ever felt like that, so carefree and able to let loose. It truly felt amazing. Along with that feeling Masamune could also feel a heavy tugging at his heart and his stomach felt all light and fluttery. He got these feelings every time he thought about the younger boy's face. His sweet smile, light and cheery laugh, bright green eyes that seemed to light up when he talked. Masamune looked up at the purple-pink clouds as he was walking, letting his eyes close slowly, feeling the breeze flow through his eyelashes. He then allowed his eyes to open, looking down at the ground clenching at his chest, cheeks turning the slightest shade of pink.

"Why am I feeling like this?"

If only Masmune knew that on the other side someone else was also thinking the same thing.

 **Hey guys, sorry it took a while to update. I had a shit ton of assignments that needed to get done so I had to put this off to the side for a while.**

 **Anyways I wanted to explain the quote in the beginning. The quote is from the song that inspired this chapter, which is called Clouds and it is sung by BORNS. It's an awesome song and it's so beautiful and I really recommend listening to it if you have a chance.**

 **Thanks for reading. Until next time 3**


	6. Chapter 6

Hey everyone! Sorry I took so long to upload a new chapter. School started getting busy and I just didn't have time to write any chapters or think of any ideas. Even so, here is the new chapter. I hope you enjoy it. This chapter is a little different, considering that it's all in Ritsu's point of view. Anyways, if you guys like the story leave a review because I really love reading them because you guys are all super sweet. Thanks, and love ya

Ch. 6 – I'll be your safety

 _Tap, tap, tap_

Ritsu was tapping the end of his pencil against his desk. He had returned from the park, which he had spent the day with Saga, and was now trying to finish some of his assignments. However, he just couldn't concentrate. He sat there tapping his pencil, staring off into space. The open window in front of his desk let in a soft breeze, swaying the curtains ever so slightly. The soft, cool breeze hit Ritsu's face and he closed his eyes, letting the wind weave its way through his delicate lashes. The only thing that Ritsu could think about was his beloved new friend, Saga Masamune.

Earlier that day when the two were at the park, they had talked about several different things. Saga told Ritsu about the pressure of going to college after high school, the issues with his parents (if you can even call them that -_-) and they talked about things they had in common, like their love of books. Ritsu would feel absolutely embarrassed saying it aloud, but he had a really good time hanging out with his senpai. To be honest he was surprised that Saga would even talk that much, considering how reserved his senpai usually was. Even if the day went well and they both seemed to have had fun, at least he hoped that his senpai had a good time, he still couldn't get one thing out of his head.

"Senpai must be really lonely" he thought to himself, with a sad look in his eyes.

Hearing Saga's stories about how little his parents were home and how they didn't really care too much about his school or social life, it just made Ritsu so mad, so frustrated. He couldn't bear the thought of having the only people who are close to him, like his parents, not be interested in anything he did or not even acknowledge him. He could only imagine how his senpai felt. Sometimes the only people who will support you and encourage you are your parents, and it was sad to know that senpai didn't have that. Senpai had only himself to rely on, to get himself through the days.

"I wanna change that. I know it may not exactly be my place to intervene in senpai's life, but I can't fathom to see him so lonely. Everybody deserves to have someone to confide in and to rely on, especially someone as sweet as senpai. It's tough to take on everything by yourself, it can be very stressful. I want to at least relieve some of that loneliness and pain from senpai."

Ritsu could feel a tinge of pain in his heart. He didn't know why he felt so strongly about making sure his senpai was happy. Ritsu had four best friends whom he loved with all his heart, but he never had this type of feeling towards them. A feeling of wanting to protect them with all his might. Not that he didn't do that for them already, but it was just different. The feeling he had for his friends was unconditional love. Maybe it was because his friends and himself, all had one another to rely on if they needed each other. They all knew each other, they understood each other. In senpai's case, he didn't have anybody. Ritsu wanted to be that person. He just didn't know if he could do it. He didn't know if his senpai would accept him.

" _Ri-chan!"_

Ritsu snapped out of his deep thoughts when he heard his mother yelling for him. He got up from his desk and went to exit his room and go in the hallway. He walked down the hallway to look down the stairs at his mom

"Were you sleeping?" asked his mother curiously, "sorry if I woke you up, but I called you like 4 times and you didn't respond. I was starting to think you died or something, I was about to run up there and bust through the door" she said with a slight laugh and a smile on her mouth

"Nah I was working on homework and zoned out. What happened?"

"I was just calling you to tell you that dinner is done"

"oh okay" Ritsu said walking down the stairs. His mother looked at him with a soft smile and walked off to the kitchen. Ritsu went to sit in their dining room, which was just off from the kitchen. It was a small room with a chabudai and sat on the floor. It was a cozy room, Ritsu's favorite room in his house actually. This was the room where he would talk about random things with his mom and dad, and sometimes one of his cousins or friends. Tonight, it was just him and his mom, his dad had to work later today. His mom came in with the food and handed Ritsu his plate.

"Itadakimasu" they both said and started eating

Ritsu kind of picked at his food for a few minutes, starting to zone out again. He started thinking about how his senpai probably never did this with his parents, he never had the chance to sit there and just talk to them about whatever. It made him feel very grateful for his mom and his dad, grateful that they were good to him. He looked at his mother with a soft smile. She caught him smiling and said

"What are you all smiley about? Thinking about how amazing and beautiful you dear mother is?" she said with a smirk

"Oh, yeah mom, you're pretty rad" he said letting out a laugh. Her comment broke him out of his sad mood. He just couldn't keep a straight face after that.

"Really though, you seem like something's on your mind. Wanna talk about it?"

"Nah I'm just tired and had a long day today."

"oh, yeah that reminds me. You went out with a new friend today, right? So, am I gonna see this new mystery person over for dinner like the rest of your little crew?" she asked smiling

Ritsu smiled at the thought, thinking about how nice it would be to have his senpai over to his house, hanging out just like any of his other friends.

"Yeah that would be nice. Maybe they will." Ritsu looked up his mom giving her a warm smile.

She smiled back at him and the two then continued eating in a comfortable silence, then his mom started talking about her day, starting the conversation up again.

The relationship between the two boys is just starting to grow, and maybe soon that friendship will blossom into something really special. For the both of them.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch. 7 – Stay or go?

The school grounds were already bustling with the sweet voices of excited teenage girls and the happy banter between a bunch of teenage boys. These sounds, however, were all nothing but a jumble of sounds to Masamune. Groups of friends actually made Masamune uncomfortable, they were all so loud and very possessive. Each little group of friends seemed like a watered down type of gang to Masamune. If you weren't a friend of theirs then they looked at you as if you were an enemy, an alien. Masamune didn't like that.

Masamune was currently standing in front of his shoe locker, placing his personal pair of shoes inside. As he was putting his school slippers on he felt the phone in his pocket start to vibrate. He pulled it out and looked at the number and made a curious expression. It was none other than Onodera Ritsu who sent his senpai the message. Masamune opened the message which read;

" _Ohayo senpai! Let's have lunch together today. Meet me in the courtyard towards the back of the school, the same place we went with Ayena and Takamatsu. See you then!"_

Masamune stared at the message for a few minutes before closing his phone. He wondered why the kouhai would want to spend their lunch period with him. It's not that he didn't like being around Ritsu, but he couldn't figure out why the boy would want to be around him so often. Masamune didn't see himself as very interesting or entertaining, so Ritsu's persistence really confused him. He tried to shrug it off and went to sit down in his first class.

By the time he got to his fifth period, he started to feel anxious. If felt as if the day was dragging and that irritated Masamune. He just wanted to go to lunch already.

"what the hell is wrong with me!? Am I a teenage girl all of a sudden!? It's just lunch with Ritsu!" Masamune screamed to himself in his head. He put his head in his arms and laid it on his desk. He decided to just chill though this period until lunch came. "one more hour, and then I can finally breathe." Thought Masamune.

Finally, the lunch bell rang and Masamune walked out of the classroom, slightly pushing by students in the way. He felt suffocated being around all these people and having to sit in a classroom learning a bunch of crap he didn't care about. He just really needed some air. As soon as he hit the outside, he took in a deep breath, closing his eyes. He then leaned against a pillar for a few seconds before proceeding to the back of the school in search of his kouhai. He turned a corner of the back building of the school and saw Ritsu sitting on a bench looking up at the sky. Masamune walked up to the bench, seemingly unnoticed by the kouhai.

"Hey."

"Oh, hey senpai" Ristu turned towards the older boy with a warm smile on his face.

Masamune felt a flutter in his chest. He recently started getting that feeling whenever his kouhai would flash him one of those beautiful and genuine smiles. When they first met, Masamune felt uneasy by the younger boys smiles, because Masamune didn't know whether those smiles were real or not. But after spending time with Ritsu, he realized that was just how his kouhai was. Naturally kind. He snapped out of his thoughts when his kouhai asked him a question.

"hmm?"

"Where's your lunch?" Ritsu asked, concerned

"Oh I don't have one."

"You don't have a lunch? Aren't you hungry?"

Masamune never brought a lunch to school. He hated the thought of going into the cafeteria and having to be around all of those people. He also wouldn't bring his own lunch from home, because all those ditsy girls who always try to talk to him would try to eat lunch with him, and he really didn't want to deal with them.

He then felt things being placed in his lap. He was so lost in thought that he didn't realize that there was a napkin on his lap and the top lid to something. He turned towards his kouhai, who had his bento box open. Masamune realized that lid was actually the lid to Ritsu's bento box. Ritsu then reached over and placed half of his lunch on the lid for his senpai.

"Nah you don't have to, I'm not even hungry"

Ritsu looked at him with a smirk

"That's not what your stomach says"

Masamune then noticed that his stomach was growling. He blushed at the noise and turned away. Ritsu giggled.

"Besides, I'm not gonna be able to eat all of this by myself. I always bring too much. Plus I don't like to see anybody hungry so, come on eat. If you don't then you'll feel all sluggish and tired later, since you're basically running on empty."

Ritsu handed Masamune a pair of chopsticks. Masamune took them and had to ask

"why do you have another pair? Do you always give away your food?"

"I have a friend who likes to pick at my food after he's finished with his food. He's like a bottomless pit, it's crazy. So I always bring another pair for him."

Masamune ate the food, which was really good. It was just rice, meat, and some pickled carrots and peppers. It was as basic as it comes when it comes to bento lunches, but it tasted really good to him. "His mom must have made this for him or something." Masamune thought to himself. It had that motherly touch to it that he hadn't tasted in probably 10 years.

"I actually wanted to ask you something." Ritsu said suddenly

"what?"

"I was wondering if you would want to come with me and my friends tomorrow?"

Masamune immediately became cautious. The thought of being around a bunch of people he didn't know gave him the slightest tinge of a headache. He really wasn't the type for mingling with others.

"Where?" Asked Masamune

"Well you see, one of my friends is in the photography club and for one of their projects they put together a portfolio full of pictures based on one thing. My friend decided he wanted to take pictures of abandoned and urban buildings out near our houses, because it would look "kinda grunge and artsy".

Ritsu ended that statement with a giggle. His friends were a weird bunch.

Even after hearing about where they planned to go, Masamune still couldn't help but wonder why Ritsu would want him to tag along. Wouldn't that be kinda awkward? Just bringing along a kid nobody has ever met.

"It's gonna be me and my four friends, including you and I think it'll be fun. The whole trip to the buildings is like a fun little hike and it's rumored that crazy things happen over there" Ritsu said with a bit of excitement in his tone

"Why do you want me to go though? I mean, won't it be weird for me to go considering your friends have never met me? I don't wanna be a burden or anything or make the whole thing awkward."

Masamune then looked over at Ritsu to see his response, only to notice that the kouhai had a frown and a slight pout to his face. Masamune suddenly felt bad. He didn't want it to come across as if he didn't want to be around Ritsu or his friends, it was just that Masamune wasn't good at meeting new people.

"Senpai, I wouldn't invite if I didn't think my friends would like you"

"I didn't mean it like that, it's just that I'm kinda awful at meeting new people that's all. Plus, I didn't want to put a damper on a hangout between friends."

The frown and pout on Ritsu's face disappeared as he looked over at his senpai. Ritsu could sense that Masamune was anxious about meeting his friends, and really dared to ask his senpai a personal question. He wasn't sure how to ask it exactly but he decided to just go ahead and say it

"Senpai, do you have any close friends, you know like the type you can just hang out with and talk to?"

Masamune's face turned slightly red at the question. It's not like the question offended him or made him mad in any way, he was just embarrassed at what his answer was to that question.

"I don't really have any friends. I mean I talk to Ayena, but I don't think either one of us considers each other friends."

Masamune let out a nervous laugh

"I don't even remember the last time I had someone I could call a friend. Maybe it was in elementary school, I can't really remember."

The two boys sat there in silence for a minute until Ritsu spoke up

"What about me?" he softly asked

Masamune eyes widened

"Aren't I your friend, Senpai?"

"It's not that I don't consider you a friend it's just that I wasn't sure if you considered me a friend."

"Of course, I consider you my friend, Senpai. What kind of thing is that to think?"

Masamune sat there looking at his kouhai, then he looked down trying to decide whether he wanted to go or not.

"You don't have to go senpai, I just thought it would be really fun to have you come along with us. My friends really wanted to meet you too. They always say the more the merrier."

Masamune could hear the bit of sadness and disappointment in Ritsu's voice. Masamune then felt guilty and really disliked seeing his kouhai upset. A sad face didn't suit the usually bright and happy Ritsu very well. After a few more minutes of contemplating he made his decision.

"So, when and where do we meet up?"

Ritsu's face lit up with joy and his eyes had sparkles in them as if they housed a whole galaxy in them.

"You mean it?! You'll go? I don't want you to feel forced or anything."

"No, I want to go, I mean it."

Ritsu smiled a beautiful smile that made Masamunes stomach and heart feel like it was fluttering

"Oh senpai, thank you thank you! It's gonna be a lot of fun I promise!"

As he said this Masamune could feel a little bit of his anxiety drift away. He started to think that maybe this outing wouldn't be that bad, as long as Ritsu was there with him.

Masamune blushed slightly at the thought of seeing Ritsu smile like that. It amazed him that such little things could make that kid happy. Masamune liked that about Ritsu though, he was genuine.

Ritsu then pointed to his senpai's share of food and said

"Now eat up! I don't want you fainting on me tomorrow because of malnutrition."

Ritsu looked at his senpai at the corner of his eye with a joking smirk on his face. Masamune couldn't help but let the tiniest hint of a smile dance across his lips.

"Alright, alright I'm getting there."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 – You're My Medicine

" _Yeah, you rid me of the blues, ever since you came into my life."_

 **Tick tick tick…..**

The sound of a branch tapping Masamune's bedroom window was filling his restless night. It was the night before his little hangout with Ritsu and his friends. He couldn't sleep and it was unknown to him if his inability to sleep that night was due to excitement or underlying anxieties. He really couldn't tell.

A small bundle of fur then came and curled up next the Masamune's side. I reached over and started gently scratching the kittens head.

"Hey Sorata, do you think they'll be decent people?" he asked his little companion

"I mean they're friends with Onodera, so that means they must be pretty okay people, right?"

He didn't get a reply, obviously, besides the gentle nuzzling of the kitten's head against his hand. He sighed and tried to relax and get at least a couple hours of sleep. He layed there for a while just staring at the ceiling, and soon his eyes started to get heavy and he found himself dozing off. As sleep started to take over him, he got an image of Onodera smiling with his full of happiness, and with that Masamune fell into a heavy sleep.

It was the next morning and Masamune was getting dressed. Earlier that morning he had received a text message from Onodera saying,

" _Ohayo senpai! I hope you're having a good morning. I was going to walk towards your neighborhood so we could meet up and walk to where my friends were going to be, but my mom needed my help with something, so instead I'm going to give you my address so that you can walk to my place and then when I'm done we can go together. I know it's kinda last minute but my mom really needed my help this morning. My house isn't that far from where you live anyways, so it shouldn't take that long to get here. Thanks, senpai."_

When Masamune read the text, he wasn't bothered by the idea of walking to Ritsu's house at all. He was actually curious about what his Kohai's house looked like, considering the fact that Ritsu had mentioned to Masamune before that his dad owned a company, so Masamune could only imagine what kind of fancy house Ritsu lived in.

Masamune finished getting ready and then gathered the rest of his things. As he was just about to walk out the front door, he looked over at Sorata and said

"Wish me luck"

Sorata meowed, and with that Masamune took his leave.

The trees were rustling with the slight breeze that accompanied the day. Masamune was comforted by the white noise and found himself extremely relaxed. He was really trying to chill out before meeting up with Ritsu. As nervous as he was Masamune had to admit that he was just the tiniest bit excited to see his cheerful little kouhai. A small smile found its way onto Masamunes's lips and he tried to keep those positive thoughts in his head as he continued his trek to Ritsu's house.

"Mom! I think I'm almost done!"

Ritsu shouted to his mom who was somewhere in the kitchen.

"That's great!"

Ritsu was helping his mom make edible flowers that were going to go on a wedding cake that his mom was making for a client. You see, Ritsu's mom makes cakes and pastries for a living. She had originally been a stay at home mom while Ritsu's dad was working at the company, and throughout the years she had taken up many different hobbies like cutting hair and even doing makeup for people in the neighborhood. One day Ritsu's father brought home a cookbook that was filled with different types of sweets. That's when Ritsu's mother really got into it and eventually decided that she was going to make that her job. This was all when ritsu was still a baby, so when his mom decided to be a baker she and his dad decided to buy an old shop that had space both downstairs and upstairs, and they made it into their home. The downstairs was the bakery and the upstairs was where ritsu and his parents lived.

That was how Ritsu was in his current situation. Ever since he was little, Ritsu would help his mom in the bakery while his dad was working at his office. Over the years Ritsu gained some very impressive skills when it came to baking and decorating. He used to be embarrassed about it, since baking was considered a very girly thing in japan. Now that he was older though he didn't care anymore, because he enjoyed helping his mom when she needed it. Ritsu stood there finishing up the rest of his flowers when he heard his mom's heels clicking around the corner.

"Ooooh they look beautiful Ri-chan"

Ritsu looked over at his mom and smiled. She came up beside her son and wrapped her arm around his shoulder.

"I think my client is going to be extremely pleased with her cake, especially with how pretty your flowers came out. You know you're really quite good at this, thanks to your incredibly talented mother of course." She said in a playful tone while looking at her nails.

Ritsu looked at her and she started to laugh, giving him a hug.

"Well I think I've put you to work long enough, you should go finish getting ready before your friend gets here."

"Are you sure, you don't need any more of my help?" Ritsu asked concerned

"I'll be fine kiddo, just go get ready already, punctuality is very important." She said playfully

Ritsu smiled and took off his apron, disappearing upstairs to house. He really had to clean himself up, he was covered in powder and light pink food coloring. As he was getting ready he grew excited at the thought of having fun with his friends, and spending time with his senpai. He really wanted Masamune to have a fun time with him and his friends. He walked downstairs to put his shoes on and say bye to his mom.

"Alright mom, I'm heading out!"

"Okay be careful and don't get into any trouble!"

"kay!"

Part of the way though Masamune's walk to Ritsu's house, he found himself in a very pretty neighborhood filled with very quaint and simple homes. He saw kids playing together and older women talking to each other in front of their homes. Masamune looked down at the text message that had the address written in it. That's when he noticed that he was getting close to his kouhai's house. He looked around a little surprised, because when he imagined Ritsu's house, he imagined a more modern home with not that many surrounding homes around it. Masamune kept walking looking at the little name plates in front of the homes, which displayed the last names of the families that lived in those homes. He had gone through most of the neighborhood, when he saw a familiar boy talking to a little girl.

His kouhai and the little girl were deep in conversation when he looked up and noticed his senpai approaching them, showing a gentle smile and waving at his senpai. Masamune reached them and when he did the little girl said bye and made her way towards a group kids playing down the street.

"Bye Yumi!" Ritsu shouted towards the little girl.

Ritsu smiled and looked at his senpai

"Hey. Did you have a hard time getting here?"

"No, it's pretty much a straight shot from my house to yours. Speaking of, which one of these houses is yours. They all look really similar." Masamune said with a nervous laugh

"Oh, my house is down this way. Here I'll show you. I was going to wait in for you in front of my house but then Yumi wanted to show me caterpillar she found." Ritsu said giggling

Masamune walked with Ritsu a bit more down the street and became confused when Ritsu stopped in front of a shop window.

"Here it is" said Ritsu

"You live here?" asked Masamune, slightly confused

"Well not in the shop, but upstairs", Ritsu laughed

"My mom owns the bakery here downstairs and we live upstairs" he explained to Masamune

Masamune stood there looking at the humble little bakery, surprised at how off he was when imagining his kouhais house.

"I thought you lived in a sleek, glass house or something since you said your dad owned a company." Masamune let out a small laugh

Ritsu smiled and also let out a laugh

"Nah my dad doesn't like that kinda stuff. He's a simple dude."

They both stood there for a second when Ritsu said,

"Well we better get going"

The two started walking again, making their way down the streets. They started coming near the end of the neighborhood, the outside, where the houses started getting sparse and Trees started to fill the area. They both had walked in a comfortable silence for a while until Masamune decided to break the silence.

"So, what's out here?"

"Well there used to be more houses and people living out here, but the land out here wasn't very good for supporting the houses so the families moved out and the county came and tear down the houses. Some of them are still out here though, but they're all falling apart and covered in graffiti."

"And your friend wanted to take pictures of them?"

"Yeah. He likes the urban, grunge feeling they give off. However I personally think the houses are creepy." Ritsu said with a laugh

"Why? You think they're haunted or something?" Masamune said playfully

"Hey, don't make fun of me senpai, you never know what could be lurking in those old houses."

The two boys laughed together, then they looked ahead of them and saw four boys waiting and talking. The group of boys saw them approaching and waved at them. Ritsu waved back at them and looked over at Masamune.

"That's them."

Masamune started to feel nervous and was trying to figure out how the other boys would react to him being there. He could feel his anxiety starting to get the best of him when he felt a gentle hand on his arm. He looked over and saw Ritsu giving him a very sweet smile.

"You're gonna be okay."

Masamune looked back at his kouhai. Ritsu closed his eyes and smiled. Ritsu then looked back at his senpai and said,

"I'll be there with you the whole time, so don't worry"

Masamune listened to his kouhai and nodded slightly. Ritsu tiled his head slightly and nodded his head towards the boys.

"You ready?"

Masamune nodded

"You sure?"

"Yeah" Masamune reassured his kouhai

"Kay, come on." Ritsu said softly

Masamune took a deep breath and followed Ritsu. Masamune didn't say it in that moment, but he was grateful as all hell that he had Ritsu there to comfort him and reassure him. Masamune knew that Ritsu's presence help to motivate him and make him feel more at ease, and the longer he thought about it the more Masamune had the urge to reach out and grab and hold his kouhais small and frail hand.

Masamune couldn't explain what he was thinking, or why he was thinking of doing that with his kouhai, but instead of worrying about that he tried to focus on the four boys to whom they're were quickly approaching.

Masamune sighed and then took a deep breath though his nose

"It's gonna be okay, you can do this." He thought to himself

 **Author's notes:**

 **With this chapter I really wanted to portray what it might feel for someone who has social anxiety and how it might feel when they are placed in a situation where they must meet completely new people. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 – Lost Boys

" _I'm just a lost boy, I'm ready to be found."_

 _~ Troye Sivan_

"Hey guys!" shouted Ritsu

Saga and Onodera were making their way towards the four other boys, and Saga couldn't help but feel apprehensive. He couldn't help wondering if it would have been a better idea if he had just stayed home instead.

No. Saga had to do this. Not only for Onodera, but for himself too. Saga was tired of letting his anxiety get in the way of letting him live his life normally. He tried to push all of his fears and doubts to the back of his head when they finally approached the four other boys.

"Hey guys thanks for waiting for us." Ritsu said to one of the boys.

"Guys this Saga senpai. Saga senpai, these are the guys." Said Ritsu. Then he continued to introduce each of them to Saga

"This guy with the camera is Tomoki"

Tomoki was tall with light brown hair and a very pretty face. He looked at Saga and smiled

"Hey senpai it's nice to meet you. Ritsu is always talking about you" said Tomoki

Ritsu blushed a bright shade of red at the sudden statement. "'No, I don't!" he protested

Saga looked over in confusion at his kouhai. Wondering why Onodera would react in that kind of way.

"Anyway, this is Shinji Ueno."

"what's up senpai" said Ueno. Ueno was a scary looking guy at first glance, but once you got to know him, he was a really funny guy, kinda goofy at sometimes. Ueno was what most people would call "the delinquent" of the group of friends, based solely off his looks. Ueno had black hair cut short and never wore his school uniform properly. He said it was too stuffy. Ueno also had a small but clearly visible tattoo on his left wrist.

Saga looked at him and wondered how the hell he got away with that, but he seemed like a nice guy so he decided not to judge him for that.

"And this is Kenichi Toyama, we call him Kenny for short."

"Nice to meet you senpai" said Kenny kindly. Kenny was a short guy with brown hair which was a bit longer in length. He wore glasses and had a cute face. He acted as the voice of reason for the group of friends because every group needs one of those.

"And finally, this Aki Shiroyuki"

"hello" said Aki. Aki was extremely soft spoken with grown out hair, slightly longer than Kenny's in length. Aki had very gentle features and was very pretty for a boy, he could easily pass for a girl if he wanted. Aki was the artist of the group.

Each boy said hello to Saga and so far, they seemed like nice enough people. Saga felt as if he had worried for nothing.

"Hey, it's nice to meet you guys." Saga said

"Well we should probably get going before it starts to get late." Said Ritsu

After that all the boys continued on the rest of their little trek. Saga walked in silence while the rest of the boys talked about random things. He wanted to take this time to observe the rest of the boys. He noticed that they all talked to each other as if they had known each other for years. They all communicated in a way that was very foreign to Saga. He had never been able to talk to others in such a comfortable way.

Well at least not until he met Onodera.

Saga continued his silent observations by looking at Ueno and Aki. He noticed that the otherwise quiet members of the group, were actually very talkative when they were conversating with each other. He was intrigued by the look on Aki's face when he was talking to Ueno. Aki's eyes had a very special sparkle in his eyes when looking at Ueno, the kind of sparkle people get in their eyes when they are looking at something they really love.

Saga then turned his attention to Ritsu, who was talking away with Tomoki and Kenny. He was laughing and cracking jokes with them. It was very interesting to watch. It was obvious to Saga why Onodera was so good at making friends and having them for that matter. That, Saga was envious of.

Onodera caught Saga looking at him and gave him a sweet smile. Saga looked back at him and let a small smile also grace his lips. Onodera then started walking besides Saga and leaned in just a bit.

"So are you doing alright, so far." Ritsu asked in a concerned tone

"Yeah I'm fine." Saga reassured his kouhai

The boys continued walking and eventually had to start walking uphill. During the whole hike to their destination, the boys were surrounded by tall trees and paths full of leaves. There was also a slight breeze that day so the air was full of the sounds of dancing and twirling leaves and branches swaying. The sun shone through the spaces in the trees and made the whole hike even more beautiful.

"So senpai, how did you meet Ritsu anyways?"

Saga looked over at Onodera, not knowing if he wanted him to tell his friends the story of how they met. Onodera blushed lightly as if knew what his senpai was trying to ask.

"Um we actually met in a bookstore." Saga replied

"In Marimo?" said Tomoki

"Yeah how'd you know."

"Cus that's Ritsu's favorite place in the world. He always goes there when he has a chance." Laughed Tomoki

Ritsu playfully kneed the back of Tomoki's leg for saying embarrassing things about him. Tomoki tripped and the boys let out a laugh, especially Ueno.

"Hey what was that for?" he asked Ritsu, trying not to laugh.

Then the two boys started to playfully throw punches at each other laughing and joking with each other.

Saga couldn't help but let the smallest of smiles on his face, watching the two friends joke with each other.

Eventually the boys reached a part of the wooded area with decrepit buildings and remains of houses. It was all pretty creepy looking during the day, imagine at night.

"Finally, we made it." Tomoki said, taking in a deep breath

"Oh yeah what a beautiful scene" Ueno said sarcastically, kicking a stray brick

Saga let out a small laugh, which surprised him, and Ueno turned to look at him smiling.

"Oh Ueno, you just don't have the eye of a photographer." Said Tomoki lifting the camera to his faced so he can capture a shot of the landscape.

"Oh, I apologize." Ueno said playfully.

"They all look kind of creepy don't they." Spoke up Aki, who had been pretty quiet the whole time.

Ritsu turned around excitedly

"What if they're haunted and we see something creepy lurking in them." Ritsu said with a smile on his face, kind of like a kid in a candy shop.

"The families who lived here didn't die, they just moved away." Laughed Kenny

"Well you never know, Kenny. There are somethings in this world that can't be explained." Said Ritsu

"Like all of Tomoki's ex-girlfriends." Said Ueno laughing

Ueno then felt a ball of paper hit his head

"Sorry, I thought you were the trash can." Tomoki said in a playfully snide tone, looking back at Ueno

Tomoki then tripped over a rock and fell letting out a yelp

"HAHAHAHA that's what you get!" laughed Ueno

Ritsu, Kenny, and Aki were also laughing and Saga couldn't help but laugh as well. Tomoki got up and punched Ueno in the arm. Thy both laughed at each other calling each other names. Then he went back to taking pictures of several of the different buildings and ruins.

Saga was taking in his surroundings while the rest of the boys continued to explore and look around. Aki was walking and trying to balance on a cement ledge that looked like it was part of a house and Ueno and Kenny were trying to get inside of a house that still had most of its shell intact. Saga looked over to his left and saw Onodera sitting on the ledge talking to Aki. Saga was then brought back, when he heard Ueno call out to him.

"Hey senpai come check this house out."

Saga walked over to where Kenny and Ueno were and stepped inside of the old building. The whole inside was covered in graffiti of all kinds, names, drawings, the occasional dick drawing and pentagram here and there. Just some edgy things you'd expect to find in an abandoned building.

"There's still stuff left in here." Said Kenny, pointing at a torn-up couch

The three boys started walking throughout the house, looking around and lightly kicking things out of the way.

Saga was looking at everything in the house and had a thought,

"Let me guess, rituals go down in this place at night huh."

Ueno let out a laugh and said, "I know right, where are all the used candles and animal carcasses."

"Probably in the bedroom." Said Kenny moving his eyebrows up and down.

All three boys laughed, when Ritsu and Aki walked in.

"What are you guys laughing at?" asked Ritsu looking at the three other boys smiling.

"Senpai said that this looks like the type of place to have some crazy rituals in it." Said Ueno

"You think so?" Said Ritsu excitedly

"You're the only one who would get excited over something like that." Said Aki, giggling

Tomoki walked in and his eyes went wide.

"Jesus look at this please. My god it's like something straight out of a found footage movie." Said Tomoki, snapping a few pictures.

"You know Tomoki, most people take pictures of cherry blossom trees and the city at night, but you're over here taking pictures of a place that looks like it could house an urban legend or two." Said Ueno

"Exactly!" shouted Tomoki excitedly, "I want the pictures to look gritty and ominous in a way. I'm glad you saw my vision too."

"That wasn't supposed to be a compliment" Ueno said under his breath, causing Ritsu and Saga to laugh

"This is actually a perfect spot! Let me just get some of my props out." Tomoki said while digging through his backpack.

"Props?" asked Kenny

"Yeah, You guys are going to be modeling for me. Why else would I invite you guys?" said Tomoki

"Alright how bout you get a picture of all of us walking out and leaving you here." Said Ueno

"Haha very funny, now who wants to pose with these." Said Tomoki holding up a box of cigarettes.

"Where did you get those from?" asked Aki in disbelief

"They're my grandmas, so who's gonna pose with one. I also have a lighter to light it up" said Tomoki

"Wait why do we have to pose with a cigarette?" asked Ritsu laughing

"Cuz it looks even edgier that way."

"Oh god" said Ueno trying his hardest not to bust out laughing

"so, who's gonna be the model?" asked Tomoki

All the boys stood there looking at each other, waiting for someone to volunteer to be the model in question.

"Well don't all volunteer at once now." Said Ueno sarcastically trying to hold back laughter.

"Oh, I know! Why don't we have senpai be the model? He has that older and cooler look to him anyways. I think he would look great in these kinds of pictures. How about it senpai?" said Tomoki

All the boys turned to Saga to see what his response would be. Saga didn't know what to say. He truly wanted to say no because he hated taking pictures, especially in front of other people, but of he did he was afraid it would create a problem and he really didn't want that to happen. So far, the trip was going good and he was actually having fun. Saga decided to suck it up and responded,

"Let me see a cigarette."

"Ooooooh yes, it would be my pleasure." Said Tomoki excitedly

Ritsu looked at his senpai with a shocked expression. He couldn't believe that Saga had agreed to do one of Tomoki's ridiculous requests. Usually all the boys refused being the subjects of Tomoki's pictures. Saga was the first. Ritsu couldn't help but feel a little bit excited. He really wanted to see how his senpai would look while modeling.

"So like, how do you want me to pose?" asked Saga

"well since your outfit fits the grunge genre a little bit, I want you to sit on the couch there with your right leg resting on the table in front of it." Said Tomoki

Saga was wearing light blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a black and white flannel over it. He was also wearing black boots kinda like Doc Martins.

Ritsu looked at his senpai and couldn't help but think about how attractive he was. Saga really did have that model-like air about him. He had jet black hair, honey brown eyes, and he was tall. He really was beautiful, and Ritsu thought so too.

While Ritsu was stuck in his own thoughts, Tomoki was directing saga on what to do.

"Okay now just hold the cigarette in between your fingers as if you just took a long drag from it." Said Tomoki

"Won't it look kind of weird if it's not lit? Like we could just light it but saga doesn't have to actually smoke it." Said Kenny

"Hmmm, you have a point Kenny. I'm surprised you had such an insight." Said Tomoki

"I got it." Said saga

Saga then proceeded to put the cigarette between his lips and put the lighter up to it. Once he had it lit, he tossed the lighter back to Tomoki. He then took a drag of the cigarette and exhaled. Everything about it was so cool, edgy, and …sexy?

All the boys stood there staring at Saga wide-eyed and shocked, especially Ritsu. Tomoki then broke out with a huge smile and said,

"oh senpai, I think I'm gonna make you my official model for all pictures."

Saga let out a small chuckle and said "I don't smoke all the time, so don't think I'm some kind of addict. I smoked some of my dad's cigarettes without him knowing one time, that's all."

"No judgement here dude. Now pose for me because you look great right now." Said Tomoki excitedly

Saga sat there and let the smoke escape his lips. The shots were all pretty nice. Saga looked like a full fledge model with the shots that Tomoki took. And no matter how much his friends made fun of him, Tomoki had a real talent when it came to photography. After taking a few more pictures, the sun started to set and the boys decided it was time to head home. On the way back all the boys were just making small talk. Saga looked over at Ritsu and noticed that he was very quiet and didn't really talk to anyone. Saga was beginning to worry if he had somehow made him mad. He started feeling anxious because he could tell that something was bugging his kouhai. Saga was internally fighting with himself when Ueno started talking to him.

"You know, senpai you're a pretty cool guy. You should hang out with us more often."

"thanks, I was kinda worried about coming with you guys in the first place cus I thought I would be intruding."

"Senpai for reals? What do you think we are? A bunch of bullies?" said Ueno laughing

"No, I was just nervous." Said saga light heartedly

"Senpai you're always welcome to hang with us, even if we are a bunch of underclassmen."

"thanks" said saga

The boys eventually reached Ritsu's neighborhood and they all started to go their own ways. Kenny, Ueno, and Aki all said bye and made their way back to their houses. Ritsu, saga, and Tomoki kept walking a bit further. The three boys eventually made it to Ritsu's house and that's when Tomoki took his leave. But before leaving he said to saga

"Later Senpai, I'll make sure to show you the pictures as soon as they get developed" Tomoki said while waving to both saga and Ritsu

"See ya!" said both of the boys

Then it was just the two of them. Saga and Ritsu. Saga really wanted to know what was bothering Ritsu, but he didn't want to bother him. So, he decided to take his leave.

"Well I guess I'll see you at school on Monday." Said Saga. He was about to walk away when he heard his kouhai speak up.

"Wait I'll walk you home, so you don't have to walk by yourself!"

Saga looked at his kouhai who was staring back at him with a look in his eyes that Saga couldn't exactly explain. His eyes looked sad almost

"Are you sure" asked saga

Ritsu nodded

The two boys began to walk to sagas house. They walked in silence for a while until Saga finally cracked and asked his kouhai what might be bothering him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"It seems like something is bothering you. You seem upset."

Ritsu didn't respond

Saga took that as an obvious indicator that his kouhai was upset about something. Saga tried to think about it until he came to a conclusion on something.

"Are you bothered by the fact that I've smoked before?"

Silence again

Saga continued to look over at Ritsu waiting for a response. He was about to give up on asking his kouhai when the younger finally spoke up.

"why did you decide to smoke senpai?" asked Ritsu in a concerned tone

"I don't smoke all the time, I just want you to know that."

"I believe you it's just that, I was wondering if you did it because you were sad?"

Saga looked forward and started to rub the back of his head

"I thought that maybe smoking one would make me feel more relaxed, that's all. My dad always smoked when he was stressed out or pissed off and they seemed to make him feel better, so I thought that maybe they would do the same for me." Said saga

"Oh, I see." Said Ritsu

Again, the boys walked in silence for a few minutes

"I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life senpai, I don't want you to think that. It's just that…I want you to know that if you're ever feeling sad or upset about something you can always talk to me about it."

Senpai looked over at his kouhai who was fidgeting with his hands nervously

"I know."

….

"Why are you so worried about this though? Today was my first time in a really long time that I have smoked a cigarette."

"It's not just the cigarettes, that isn't really that big of a deal to me. I'm more worried about you doing other things when you're upset like drinking or doing drugs. I know you're not doing that, but I just don't want you to get hooked on things when you start to feel hopeless."

Saga stopped in his tracks. Ritsu walked a little ahead of him before he noticed. Ritsu then turned around to look at his senpai and said,

"Instead of doing those things, just come to me. I'll help you, I'll be there for you, so just…. please tell me when you're feeling sad."

Saga's eyes widened and he could feel his chest tighten slightly. Not once in his entire life did a person say something like that to him. Not once did someone make it known to Saga that he could rely on him. In that moment Saga felt like he was going to burst out crying, but he tried his hardest to keep himself composed.

"Thank you." Said saga in almost a whisper

Ritsu looked at his senpai and could see that his eyes were starting to water slightly at the edge. And the, without a second thought, Ritsu walked forward towards senpai and wrapped his arms around him.

Saga was shocked at the sudden embrace. He felt so overwhelmed with emotion that without even noticing it, tears started to stream down his cheeks. Ritsu felt his senpais tears hit his shoulder and hugged him tighter.

"it's okay senpai. You can cry." Said Ritsu

And with that Saga reached out his arms and hugged his kouhai back, letting his tears fall freely. They stood there like that for a few minutes until Saga spoke up,

"Don't tell anyone that I cried okay." Said Saga jokingly

Ritsu then let out a giggle

"I won't, I promise." Said Ritsu smiling and giggling

Saga loved the way his kouhai's light laughter felt against his chest. How warm it felt with them close together.

Saga stood there, hoping in his head, that he could stay like that forever with him.


	10. Dreams

_Dreams_

" _You're the first thing I see when I close my eyes"_

The room was slightly chilly. It had a bluish-purple tint to it. The night was calm and quiet. Within the plush comforter and fluffy pillows was a thin, brunette boy. Porcelain skin glowing in the moonlight.

Onodera was sleeping soundly, warm and comfortable beneath the covers. After his outing with his friends and his senpai, he found himself incredibly tired. As soon as he got home he slipped into some sweats and a T-shirt and went to bed. In his sleep he began to dream. In his dream he was lying down on the grass. He couldn't fully recognize where he was at first. His eyes had to adjust to the rays of sunshine of that dancing across his face. When he could finally see his surroundings, he noticed that he was in one of the courtyards at his school. He looked around at the clear blue skies above him and held his hand up and stared at it for a few moments. Ritsu then turned his head to look around him. When he turned to the right he saw a very familiar face. Laying next to him was Saga. His senpai was in a calm and gentle sleep, lying on his side facing towards Ritsu. Onodera lied there looking at his senpai. He took in Sagas features. His black hair, pale skin, long lashes, and plump lips. Onodera stared in awe. "My god he's beautiful, even when he sleeps", thought Onodera. He could feel his face start to heat up. His eyes then focused on his senpai's lips. Onoderas eyes started to glaze over slightly as he began to think about what his senpai's lips would feel like against his. Onodera then found himself reaching his hand out to his senpai. His hand he gently brushed against that of the older boy. Onodera then smiled softly and his eyes fluttered to a shut.

At that moment Onoderas eyes opened in the real world. He was zoned out for a moment. He reached over to nightstand next to his bed and flipped his cell phone open. The time read 4:30 am, he then shut the device and lied on his back. Staring at the ceiling, he lay there with his arm draped across his forehead. His cheeks were blushing furiously and his heart was beating fast.

" why did I dream that?", he thought to himself

He couldn't figure out what he was feeling. His chest felt tight, his stomach felt like there was a fluttering sensation. He couldn't explain it. He felt frustrated. He grabbed one of his pillows and buried his face in it. "What is wrong with me?", he said.

Later on that morning he walked downstairs and found his mom making breakfast. She turned to look at her son and had to do a double take. Ritsu had dark circles under his eyes and his skin looked blotchy. Her eyes widened with concern. She walked over to her son and placed a hand on his forehead.

"Boy are you feeling okay? You look like you've been hit by a ton of bricks.", she said to her son.

" I'm fine. I just had a hard time going back to s!eep late last night."

"You woke up in the middle of the night? Were you feeling sick?"

"No I just had a dream that's all. After I woke up I couldn't fall back asleep."

"A nightmare?"

"Nah, it was just a dream. I'm fine I promise."

Ritsu then walked over to the table and sat down, visibly very tired. His mother looked at him and couldn't help but be concerned. She's never seen her son react like that, he was usually very open with her. She made a plate for him and placed it in front of him. She then sat across from her son.

"Well you need to eat something and the get some rest. Sleep is very important."

"Thanks mom."

The two sat in silence after that. Ryoko sipping her coffee and Ritsu eating his breakfast. When it was just them two, silence was awkward. It was comfortable. Ritsu finished eating and got up to wash his plate. Afterwards he walked back to his mom and told her he was going to go back upstairs to lay down for a little bit. His mother noddedher head and Ritsu began to walk towards the stairs, but before he could walk up his mother stopped him.

"Ri-chan"

"Yeah mom"

"You know that if anything is ever bothering you, you can tell me. You know that right?"

Ritsu let a small smile cross his lips and replied back to his mom

"I know mom."


	11. Fluorescent for You 11

Chapter 11 - Pieces of the Past

"Okay Sorata, what'll it be? Dry or wet food?"

Masamune was in the kitchen with the tiny kitten. It was Sunday, just yesterday Masamune had spent the day with Ritsu and his friends. Much to his surprise, he actually had a lot of fun. He smiled and laughed, things he hadn't done in years.

Masamune stood there at the counter preparing Soratas food. He mixed the two kinds of foods in one bowl since he knew Sorata couldn't actually answer him. He turned around and walked towards the tiny creature, who was happily waiting for his owner. Masamune kneeled down where the cat was and placed the bowl in front of him. He sat down next to his pet and proceeded to gently scratch around the kittens ears.

Masamune sat there pondering for a few moments. He was thinking about the events of the previous day and then he started remembering something similar that happened when he was just a little boy.

When Masamune was around six or seven years old, he had been visiting his grandmothers house with his mother. Masamune loved his grandmother. She loved her grandson with all her heart. Masamune's grandmother lived in a tiny village in Nagoya. The houses were small and old and surrounded by country side. It was quiet and peaceful. His mother took him to visit his grandma and during the visit his mother asked him if he wanted to go on a walk. At this point in Masamune's life, his mother was still a mother. She loved and spent time with her son like any other mom should have. Somewhere along the way, that all stopped though.

"Masamune, let's go for a walk" said Kotoko, a warm smile on her face.

"To where?" Asked Masamune, curiously

"Just come on"

Masamune walked up to his mother, placing his small hand within his mothers. They walked along a road that was beside a field of wild flowers. They were a beautiful shade of bright yellow. They swayed gently in the light breeze. They walked in peaceful silence before his mother finally spoke up.

" you like visiting your grandma, don't you?"

"Yeah, I love grandma. She makes the best food."

"Hahahaha, that's what you love her for?"

"No not just that, I love her for all that she does"

"I'm glad. It makes me happy that you and your grandma are so close."

"Plus I like being here in the village. Its always so warm and sunny."

Kotoko looked over at her son with a loving gaze. Her eyes then lit up as she thought of something.

"You know this village is magical."

"Magic?" Asked Masamune, clearly skeptical.

"Yes. There's a magic shrine up in the hills a little bit."

"A shrine?"

"Uh huh. People used to go there and make wishes for things they desired in life. Like good fortune, good health, success in work or school."

"And it works?" Asked Masamune, trying to contain his excitement.

" I knew a woman here, we used to go to high school together. Well the woman and her husband wanted to have a baby and they tried for a long time, but it just wouldn't happen. Then one day, the woman came to the shrine and wished and prayed for a beautiful and healthy baby to come into her life. She was desperate and wasn't even sure if it would work. But then a few months later she went to the doctor and found out that God had given her a precious baby. It was then that she knew that shrine was magic."

Masamune looked up at his mother with wide eyes. He was amazed, and dazzled by the story his mother had just told him.

"The shrine is still there too, just waiting for people to come see it."

They continued to walk for a few moments more until Kotoko looked over to Masamune with a an excited look on her face.

"Wanna go look for it?"

Masamune smiled widely and nodded his head. His mother and him then started down a path surrounded by big beautiful trees. They walked as rays of sunshine danced across the ground. They soon came across a path going up the hill.

"Its this way"

They continued up the path until they caught sight of a small structure. It was a shrine made of cement, shrouded by trees. It looked very scary at first to Masamune. He came in closer to his mother, slightly afraid but then his mother looked at him with reassuring eyes. She then began to walk forward towards the shrine.

"Come on it'll be okay."

"Shall we make a wish?" Kotoko asked her son.

Masamune stood there unsure for a few moments.

"How about I go first?"

Kotoko stepped up to the shrine. She closed her eyes and brought her hands together. She stood for a minute. The wind blowing her long black hair. She bowed and then her eyes fluttered open. She walked back to Masamune.

"What did you wish for?" He asked.

"I can't tell you silly. If I do then it won't come true"

He looked over at the shrine, hesitant.

"Go on. Its alright." His mother said.

Masamune slowly walked up to the shrine. He was nervous for some reason. He couldn't figure out why though.

He closed his eyes and brought his hands together. Just like his mom. He had no idea what he wanted to wish for. He was just a little kid, so there wasn't anything crazy that he really wanted. He sat there for a few minutes until he finally thought of something.

He began speaking in his head,

"Hi god, I know I haven't always been a good boy but I want to make a wish. I don't wish for money, or fame or any of that stuff. All I wish is to be happy and loved in life and to be able to give love to others too. That's all I ask for.

He bowed and opened his eyes. He walked back to his mother, holding her hand.

"So what did you wish for?" Asked Kotoko playfully.

"I can't tell you remember?"

"Oh alright!" She said giggling

Masamune snapped out of his thoughts as Sorata started pawing at his legs. Masamune brought the kitten into his arms as he stood up.

"We used to have a ton of pictures from times like those." He thought to himself.

"What the hell happened to them?"

He had to think about it for a while until he remembered the study in his house.

"Maybe they put all that stuff in there."

He put Sorata down and started to walk upstairs. Sorata was following close behind him. He came to a door that was in the back of his house. He opened it and there was the study his parents used for storage. It was a small room full of boxes and other random stuff. Masamune carefully made his through the crowded room. He started looking through boxes in search of pictures. Most of them were full of random documents and old books. Then he noticed a stack of boxes towards the corner of the room, sort of isolated from the rest. He took one down and sure enough it was packed with Polaroids from his childhood. Pictures of his first day of school, a picture of his parents at their wedding, one of Masamune and his grandma, a picture of his dad holding him as a baby.

Masamune smiled sadly.

Where on earth had his parents from is childhood gone? When and why did they go from being so loving to so hateful? All these happy memories were just fragments of the past. A distant memory.

Masamune had looked through all the boxes full of pictures until be got to the bottom box. This one was different.

Inside the box was two pictures, a journal, and a couple of certificates and documents. He soon realized most of the stuff inside belonged to his mom. He picked up on of the pictures. The first one was of his mother in a hospital bed holding a baby with beautiful black hair. Masamune looked at the picture for a long time, then he picked up the other picture with a very confused look on his face. The second picture was of his mom and an unfamiliar man. His mother was hugging the man with a bright smile on her face while the man had his arm wrapped around her waist. It was clearly a couples picture, but Masamune couldn't figure out why his mother had this picture. The man in the photo clearly wasn't his father, and his mom looked incredibly young in the photo, probably around 17 years old, the same age as Masamune.

"Maybe he's an ex boyfriend?" He thought to himself, but even that didn't make all that much sense to him.

He decided to pick up the journal next. He skimmed through the pages, not wanting to completely invade his mothers privacy. He was only truly looking for any other pictures that may have been stashed away inside the journal. While skimming through the pages his eye caught a glimpse of something interesting. On one of the pages was a journal entry, but not just any journal entry. This entry was written in the style of a letter. His mother had clearly written it but who it was addressed to was a mystery to him. The letter read,

"Dear, Hideyuki

I know it has been years since we last spoke, but I thought I should let you know how we are doing. Masamune is growing nice and healthy. He loves to read and is very good at math. He is growing up to be such a smart young boy. He just started middle school. Where have the years gone? He resembles you quite a bit, he has your smile. He gets along well with Fumihiko. He treats Masamune like family, like a son. But that's not something you're very interested in.

I know you already decided that did not want anything to do with this relationship, but I thought it was important to let you know what has been going on. I'm not even sure if I am going to send this letter. Even after all these years I still have a glimmer of hope that you will somehow feel some type of affection for Masamune. After all he is your son..."


	12. 12

Chapter 12 - Who Am I?

Masamune sat on the cold hard floor, shocked by what he had just read. It felt as if the world around him was starting to crumble. And he couldn't do anything about it.

The man that Masamune had grown up with, the man he called his dad, the man he looked up to as a little boy, the man he loved, wasn't even his biological father. Masamune used to cling to the memories of his past, like when he and his father were actually close, but now it felt like none of those things even mattered. Did his dad even love him all these years? Was he only nice to Masamune because he felt bad about the boys situation with his real father? Everything felt so unreal.

Masamune felt like he was gonna pass out. How could his mother keep something like this from him for so many years?

Masamune felt sick. He didn't know what to do. He pulled his knees up to his chest and could feel his heart pounding like a hammer against cloth. He couldn't breathe and his arms felt stiff. He was having an anxiety attack. He sat there panicking, trying to think of a way to calm down. He stayed glued to his spot, breathing heavily. He then started to feel around his pockets. He reached in and took out his cellphone. He stared at the glowing screen for a while until he finally went into his contacts. Without even thinking, he chose the one person he truly wanted in that moment. He placed the phone to his ear and listened to the unbearably loud ringing, waiting for an answer.

Ritsu was sprawled out on his bed. It was already mid afternoon, yet the brunette was softly sleeping. After he had told his mom that he was going to try to catch up on his sleep after having that dream, he went up stairs and passed out as soon as he hit the covers. Since then he has been asleep. He lied there, skin glowing in the warm light of the sun.

The peaceful silence, however, was interrupted by the loud vibrating of Ritsu's cellphone on his nightstand. Ritsu's eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the afternoon light. He reached over and read the screen on the front of the phone. He smiled softly as he read his senpai's name. He flipped the phone open.

"Hey senpai" said Ritsu happily.

"Can you come over?"

Ritsu automatically sat up. Something was wrong. The tone in his senpai's voice was different, frantic. Ritsu became worried.

"What's wrong senpai? Is everything okay?" Ritsu asked , scared of the response.

"I just really need you right now"

Ritsu 's eyes widened and his heart started to race. "Now is not the time to be getting flustered" Ritsu scolded himself internally.

"I'm on my way!" Said ritsu, shutting his phone quickly

He got out of bed and started shuffling through his things. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a green baseball tee from off the floor and threw them on. He shoved his phone into his pocket and made his way downstairs.

Ryoko was in the living room folding clothes as she heard footsteps dashing down the stairs. she turned around and saw Ritsu run past her. She got up, thoroughly confused, to see where her son was headed to in such a rush.

"Hey hey hey, where's the fire?" She asked her son

"Sorry mom, senpai called me a few minutes ago and it sounded like something was wrong. I'm gonna go see him." Said ritsu, slightly out of breath. He was in the genkan , fumbling to get his shoes on.

"Is he okay? Should I come too?"

"Nah it's okay mom, if something really is wrong I think it would throw him off of you showed up too, since he doesn't know you."

"That's true"

"Sorry mom, I'm in a hurry. I gotta go!"

He said bye to his mom and does out the door.

"I hope everything's okay" Ryoko said, standing in the doorway.

Ritsu ran, the soles of his Converse slamming against the concrete. It felt as if it was taking forever to get to Sagas house. Nothing but worried thoughts flashed through Ritsu s mind as he made his way to senpai's place. Soon he recognized the corner street and the turn. He rounded the corner and found himself in front of his senpai's home. He quickly opened the small metal gate and walked up to the door. He was about to knock, worried that his parents might be home, but then he shook his head. He didn't care if senpai's parents were home, he had to see him. He pushed the door open and stood in the entry way. He looked around first and then called out to his senpai.

"Hello! Senpai! Are you here?!" Ritsu shouted

He waited for a response but heard nothing.

Masamune was still sitting in the office, knees against his chest. His eyes were shut right and the silence was deafening. The the heavy layer of silence was torn when he heard a familiar voice call out to him. He recognized Ritsu's voice. He wanted to answer but for some reason he couldn't muster up his voice.

"Senpai! I'm coming up, okay!" Shouted Ritsu

He was making his way up the stairs. When he got to the top he looked around wondering where to start looking. One door was completely open. Ritsu peered into the room. It was a normal bedroom, with nobody in it. The door across the way was closed, he looked in and it was another empty bedroom, but this one was especially barre, a guest room probably. Then there was a bathroom, no one in it. Ritsu was starting to get worried, he couldn't find Sagas anywhere. Ritsu looked to the end of the hall and noticed another room with the door just slightly open. He walked up to it and spoke from the outside

"Senpai?"

Ritsu pushed the door open and saw Saga sitting in the center of the room. Ritsu quickly walked to him and crouched down on the floor.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" He asked, voice riddled with concern.

Sagas eyes slowly opened to look at his kouhai. He could feel his heartbeat start to calm as he looked at Ritsu. He felt safe now. He wanted to get lost in those emerald pools of green. He wanted to be away from where he was.

"What happened? I need you to tell me what happened. You can tell me anything, you know that."

Saga stared at his kouhai for a moment before finally deciding to explain the situation he was in. Ritsu sat in front of him, worry written all over his face. Saga let out a deep and shaky sigh.

"I was looking through some old stuff from like my childhood, and I found this box full of my mom's stuff. She had normal pictures in there but then there was this weird one with her as some man I've never seen before. Then I found this journal, it had a bunch of entries from my mom but there was one that was written as a letter. She was writing to some man named Hideyuki, and telling all this stuff about me growing up and going to school, and how my dad and I got along well. And..."

Ritsu could feel this growing pit in his stomach. He had a feeling he knew what his senpai was going to say, but he was afraid that he really WOULD say it.

"My dad, the one I grew up with, isn't even my real dad."

Masamune words came out almost in a whisper, but that didn't make the pain and hurt within those words any less.

"And my mom...She kept that from me. For years she's just been acting as if everything is just normal. It's so fucked up!" , exclaimed Masamune.

Ritsu was so heart broken for his senpai. Seeing Saga like this, hurt beyond belief, just tore Ritsu apart to no end.

"Maybe that's why they're so unhappy, because of me. Because I'm just some illegitimate child, never wanted. They probably hate the fact that they have to raise me, especially my dad. Imagine how he feels, having to raise a kid that's not even his."

Masamune out his face in his palms and mumbled one last statement.

"Who even am i? I don't belong anywhere."

Ritsu had been pretty silent the whole time, listening to every word his senpai I had to say. But that last statement sent Ritsu over the edge.

"Don't say that!" Shouted Ritsu, his voice quivering

Masamune looked up at his kouhai and noticed the younger boys eyes were full of tears.

"Don't you ever say that Senpai"

"You are so unbelievably special and amazing!" Ritsu said, wiping away the years

" I feel worthless now, like I'm out of place. " said Masamune

Ritsu moved forward and cupped his senpai's cheeks

"You listen to me. Just because this happened, just because your parents made mistakes, didn't change anything about you. You are still you. You are still the smart and kind boy I met in that book store. Nothing has changed. So what if you and your dad aren't blood related!? That doesn't make you any less of a person. Oh senpai if only you knew how important you really are"

Masamune's eyes over flowed with tears. The two boys looked into each other's eyes, and Ritsu brought Masamune into a tight embrace, placing his hand behind his senpai's head. Masamune could feel Ritsu's warmth radiating into him. Masamune laid his head against Ritsu's shoulder, letting his tears fall against his kouhai's t-shirt.

"Thank you" whispered Masamune. It was almost inaudible

Ritsu hugged his senpai tighter. He never wanted to let go. He wanted to protect Masamune with everything that he had.

After a few minutes of silence, Masamune spoke up

"Will you stay here with me tonight?"

Ritsu began to blush furiously, although, he couldn't really figure out why.

The two boys gently pulled away from each other, Masamune looking expectantly at his kouhai.

"Okay" said Ritsu

The night had fallen. The two boys lay in Masamunes bed. Both facing each other. They had spent the last hour or so just laying there, talking about this and that. Masamune eyes were puffy and it became increasingly difficult for him to stay awake. Eventually Masamune drifted off to sleep, leaving Ritsu to watch him sleep.

Ritsu carefully examined his senpai's face. He mentally traced out his senpai's nose, eyes, lips. He noticed how unbelievably long his black eyelashes were.

"My god, he's so beautiful" Ritsu thought to himself

Ritsu had been battling with his confusing feelings for his senpai for a while now. He didn't know what to do. He had never felt this way about anyone in his entire life. Every time he thought about him, his heart would race, his stomach would feel light and his cheeks turned rosy red.

Ritsu began to blush just at the thought of it

He cared about his senpai so much, more than you could ever imagine.

Ritsu was so confused. He brought he hand to rest against his chest, feeling his pounding heartbeat.

"What am I going to do?" Ritsu whispered softly to himself.


End file.
